By Eddie Fews
I’ve noticed that a lot of guys that don’t get with a lot of beautiful women, only think about getting with beautiful women. That’s all they want, its all they talk about, its as if they put every other aspect of their life on pause and refuse to lift a muscle or challenge themselves in anyway because they have yet to find the girl that they want.
They get on dating sites writing to hundreds of women everyday along with a profile that screams ” I am so needy for a woman, please help me!” Finding a girlfriend or a ‘fuck buddy’ becomes their number one priority and they can’t figure out why they keep coming up short.
Well I am here to tell you why that is, and how you can change that and be on your way to reeling in beautiful women at a rate you wont believe.
There was a point in my life when I was just like many of you reading this; I didn’t have enough courage to go after beautiful women outside of the Internet. I had dating profile after dating profile on a big range of dating sites, I would send out 50+ messages a day with openers I had found on google and I would only receive about 2 responses in return; usually coming from girls that I didn’t find attractive in the first place.
I couldn’t figure out what on earth I was doing wrong and then it hit me.
Finding a girl had become the most important mission in my life and girls could feel, sense and taste that desperation from a mile away.
So how do you think I fixed this?
Well right away I didn’t do anything; I had no idea where to begin or what I would need to do in order to become less needy, asides from perhaps, actually getting a girlfriend.
Then one conversation with a friend of mine totally changed everything for me; his exact words were “You have to find a way to have a girlfriend without having a girlfriend”
At the time I was just thinking “What the fuck?” What does that even mean? He had left it totally open for my own interpretation and when I reflected on how this sage advice could apply to me and my situation, I then realised that all the girlfriends I had ever had, came to me at a time when my focus was predominantly on self improvement rather than getting a girlfriend.
Let me elaborate.
First girlfriend: High school; my grades weren’t the best and I had just made the decision to make school my number one priority. My thought process went a little like this “I’m going to get all my grades up to par first and then I’ll consider having a girlfriend”
I never did get my grades up because shortly after making that decision.. BOOM girlfriend.
Second girlfriend: I had been getting a bit chubby and I wasn’t eating healthy, I made the decision make my body my number one priority, I began exercising religiously. I would ditch hanging out with my friends because I would have to workout… I didn’t lose as much weight as I had wanted though because shortly after I made that decision… BOOM girlfriend.
Third girlfriend: I was on dating sites constantly, all the time everyday and I wasn’t getting any success. I didn’t know why, I ran into an article about meditation and its benefits and I made the decision to begin meditating everyday, I would even be late to appointments because I had forgotten to meditate, it became my number one priority and I kept it up consistently and then BOOM.. I began pulling girls like it was nothing on-line and off… And so on and so on
You see, each time in my life that I made a decision to do something to benefit me, the thing I wanted most before that decision (a girlfriend) made it’s way into my life and interfered with my goals.
Academic excellence, my body and meditation, all these things had essentially become my girlfriend until they had been replaced with a real girlfriend… I had found a way to ‘have a girlfriend without having a girlfriend’ and I achieved this by putting that commitment into productive personal pursuits rather than just searching for a girlfriend.
I had priorities and standards that weren’t beautiful women and they found this extremely attractive. Now don’t start meditating, doing your school work, and exercising because I said It got me some ass. Find something that is important to you and make it your girlfriend. Do it well and do it with consistency, it can be something as simple as ‘I am going to stretch every morning to keep my body loose throughout the day’.
It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as you are doing it for YOU. Beautiful women find men with girlfriends more attractive then men without them so I challenge you to get a girlfriend. Not a woman. Go search for something that has meaning to YOU and make it your new girlfriend then watch your life transform.
By Eddie Fews[social_share/]
Eddie Fews works in the New York Area, For personal coaching or tips you can email him @ EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com