Women Are Not The Issue

women are not the issue

Negativity Towards Women

Hey guys, Nathan again, your favorite nerd from WotP. Today I’m going to talk about a very specific problem. That is negativity toward women, particularly by other men.

Now, aside from Kieran Black, I don’t talk to any of you guys outside of the site, but I will let you in on something. If you were to spend a full three days with me, you’d realize I have a serious intolerance toward men who are negative toward women. Now, these are not “nice guys” but completely different.

Aside from serious issues such as intolerance, crimes, starvation and other front page issues there is nothing I can’t stand more than men who insist that women are the issue they can’t get laid, have a relationship, etc.

Now, you may ask what brings up this issue to the forefront of my mind. One of my friends, we’ll call Jenny has many male friends. However, recently she confided within me that I’m the only male friend of hers who “gets it”. The rest of her male friends beg, plead, and whine about how she won’t sleep with them, won’t go out with them, and so forth. She went so far as to say, “I hate to sound like a b**ch to them, but sometimes I just tell them about you because it makes them leave.”

Now, you may be wondering how this is relevant to you. I’m sure somewhere along the way in our lives we’ve all had that friend, or known that guy who insists that they don’t need to improve themselves. They think that it’s women who must recognize their greatness, and bow in awe to their perceived manliness.

Do You Know Someone Like This?

I’ve found that the men who are guilty of this all have four things in common:

  • Little to no social life
  • Lack of pride in regards to appearance & hygiene
  • Clingy/Needy
  • Unwilling to improve themselves

Now, numbers 2 and 4 are particularly important. I’m not saying you need to look like Brad Pitt, or dress like James Bond to get women, however you absolutely need to put some pride into your appearance and make sure you’re well groomed. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but that means you shower every day. No t-shirts with “spirit” animals, or weird references either. If you must have a t-shirt with text make sure it’s at least capable of starting a conversation, and a good one at that.

Number 4 is the most critical. The ability to self improve and even self-critique will be worth leaps and bounds. Like any trade or craft, when it comes to dating, talking with, sleeping with, or plain old interacting with women what you put in you get out.

So if you put in a version of yourself that plays Xbox, eats chips and spends his nights complaining about how women are all “sl**s” then you will get the female equivalent for your efforts, or even worse, you’ll get nothing but in this case nothing is probably better.

Furthermore, an inability to self improve points to a much bigger issue at hand, and that is either a sense of entitlement about what others “owe” you, or you’re incredibly insecure.

Having no social life will also impact you severely, and when I say no social life I don’t mean you literally do not socialize. I mean you do not meet new people. Sure you can hang out with the same 3 friends all day, and all night, for weeks on end but that’s not realistic. Why? Because you’re not in a sitcom, you and your friends won’t go on silly, wacky adventures together. You’ll go to the same place, see the same people, and before you know it, you’re 50, married with 2 kids.

Having A Real Social Life

I once had a very limited social life, and when I wasn’t out I was playing Warcraft online and let me tell you, regaining your social skills is difficult. It took me about two years, and to compound the situation none of those interactions or at least very few of them were with women, so I not only had to relearn social skills but also had to learn how to interact with women as well. Most guys can barely interact with women period, so imagine having to re-acclimate yourself just being around people and talking. That is why you need to keep up your social skills.

Lastly, but certainly not the least is the neediness and clinginess that some guys have. Now before we dive into this subject, there is a fine line between being clingy and being good friends. Take for example my friendship with “Jenny” we talk everyday and we’re totally fine with it because we’re never going to be with each other. I have communicated this very clearly to her, and she to me. The point being made? I have accepted the fact we don’t need to be with each other romantically, or sexually in order to have a relationship, and so has she.

However, her other male friends have not gotten this message, at all. One of them actually asked her “Why won’t you s**k my d**k?” Aside from the fact that the question is really creepy, she told him “I’m  not going to” and said to me “He doesn’t even shower, the thought of giving him oral sex makes me physically sick.”

Some men truly do not get it and can not take the hint. Don’t be like one of “them”. If a woman makes it clear she is not interested, then respect that answer and don’t get bitter. Far too many men get rejected and then have the audacity to say “women only date jerks” or “nice guys never win” or whatever canned, decades old excuse they’re using these days.

One last thing, do not reject being rejected. What do I mean? Let’s say you extend an invitation to a woman and she declines. Don’t turn around and say “Fine, be that way” or some sort of snappy, immature remark. Rejecting rejection is the hallmark of the insecure and immature.

Don’t be “that” guy. Be a man, and embrace it for what it is, a learning lesson and experience to carry with you.

Submitted by WOTP reader Nate

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