You ever wonder why nice guys never seem to get the girl? I’m going to tell you why.
There is one recurring theme in the player community, which I see time and time again. It is the theme of men who are struggling to get laid by beautiful women. I call it, ‘ Nice Guy Syndrome’ and it is one of the most common ailments affecting men today.
Nice Guy Syndrome or NGS, is so common today that at least 1 in 3 men are affected (in my opinion). Most guys don’t even realize they have it until they reach a point in their lives where they think to themselves, I am doing everything by the book. I am polite, I am sensitive, I am friendly, I’m not pushy… Why can’t I get laid?
I am everything that beautiful women say that they want.
According to women’s magazines I’m the ideal guy.
I should be beating beautiful women off with a stick but instead I am beating off my stick to beautiful women.
Why is this happening, what is wrong with the world?
Then we look at the beautiful women in our lives and we look at some of their a$$hole boyfriends and we start to feel a bit resentful and we begin to feel frustrated.
Why is she with him??? He treats her like crap.
If she were my girlfriend I would treat her like a princess!
why can’t she see that I am the better guy for her?
We are nice guys, shouldn’t the world reward us for being nice guys?
In a perfect world, the nice guys would get the girls and everyone would sing Coombyah around a big rainbow. There would be no wars, there would be no racism, there would be no sexism, they would be no “ism’s” full stop. Love would be free and everyone would try and help one another find happiness in their lives.
Well we tried that experiment, it was called the 70’s and then once the party ended and everyone came back down to reality, we began to realize that the world is not a perfect place, no matter how much we want it to be. Some things will always be the same and good things will happen to mean people whether they deserve it or not.
So what is the answer? Should we all start being a$$holes to one another? Should we start cheating, robbing and lying to get the things we want most. Should we start doing these things to get beautiful women to have sex with us?
That’s not the answer. Because then you would be replacing one problem with an even bigger problem. You would be a cheat and a fraud and you would have no self-respect.
There is however, a middle ground here. There is a way you can be a good person without giving into Nice Guy Syndrome.
This middle ground is being a confident, alpha male and a benevolent leader among men. It’s being friendly but firm. It’s being giving but only giving what’s deserved. It’s is acting on your sexual desires without guilt or shame. It’s embracing your true self, your true desires and sometimes looking after your own needs, ahead of the needs of others.
Being A Nice Guy Doesn’t Make You A Good Guy
There is a common misconception with Nice Guys out there. Many believe that being a Nice Guy is the noble path. They believe that being a nice guy means the same as being good guy.
Well, they are wrong. It’s not the same thing.
Hitler was described by his friends and family as a nice guy. He was not however a good guy. He was a very bad guy who hid behind niceness.
Many nice guys believe that it’s hard to be a nice guy. They believe that it’s hard to be nice to people who are not nice to you but this is also wrong.
It’s easy to be nice. Anyone can be nice. However it takes balls and courage to be honest with yourself and everyone around you.
It takes balls to openly acknowledge your needs and desires and it takes balls to fulfill them ruthlessly and shamelessly.
Nice guys are afraid to be a$$holes.
They are afraid that society will punish them for this behavior. They’re afraid that they will lose friendships. They’re afraid that they will be unpleasant to be around. But the fact of the matter is, if you want to get ahead in life and if you want to attract beautiful women you need to be prepared to be an a$$hole occassionally because if you aren’t willing to put your a$$hole hat on once in awhile to stand up for yourself and what you truly want and believe. Then you are nothing but a pushover and destined to be shoved to the bottom of the litter because others will use you as a stepping stone to get what they want.
And that is what happens to Nice Guys. They get used and abused time and time again until eventually something snaps and they get resentful and frustrated and deep down they begin to believe that they are bad people because of the anger and animosity they feel towards those who can achieve what they want. This is when you see passive agressiveness which (after bitchiness) is actually the most cowardly form of confrontation a person can exhibit.
Nice Guys with no courage in their hearts will resort to this kind of non-confrontational behaviour because they can’t deal with it like a strong alpha male. If you are a Nice Guy and you are reading this, you might be thinking to yourself, that’s crap I’m a good person and I know it. I give to charity and adopt sick kittens etc. and that might be true. You might have a good heart but that isn’t enough to get you what you want out of life and eventually one day when life has conditioned you to believe that the world is a bad place full of bad people you will become bitter and sad, it’s inevitable.
It’s inevitable because you’re a Nice Guy who never learnt how to deal with your problems head-on but instead waited for your problems to go away on their own accord. If you’re a guy who, rather than ruthlessly going after what he wanted, instead, waited for what he wanted to be given to him. Then eventually the disappointment of your own personal failure will weigh heavily on you and this will affect the way you see other people and the world around you.
This is why nice guys finish last, because from the beginning they choose to take the easy path of the loser, the victim, the tragedy. They sew their own seeds of fate everytime they allow themselves to be put into the friend zone by a girl that they love, everytime they let a guy get away with humiliating them in front of their friends, everytime they are taken advantage of by people who see their niceness as weakness.
If this is you, if you are the nice guy who keeps getting disrespected by society and passed up by beautiful women for guys who are assholes, then you need to make a change now. You need to decide what it is you want and you need to go after it and not give a sh*t about what society or anyone else thinks.
Players are men who are able to recognise opportunities where other men do not. They have the courage and drive to use these opportunities where lesser men wouldn’t. We rise to the top because we damand it and we feel no sympathy for men who lack the balls to rise to great heights. We recognise and respect our peers who share our vision and dreams for greatness.
No-one can keep a winner down and winners are not nice or mean, or good or bad, they are just true to themselves. They are true to their nature and they live life like they only have one chance to get it right. One chance to make an imprint on this world that will last through the ages and THIS, right now, this is your chance. So don’t waste it being a Nice Guy, use it to be a great man.
By Kieran Black[social_share/]