The Vampire Obsession

vampire obsession

For any heterosexual warm blooded man who has ever seen the movie twilight or happens to have unwittingly found themselves involved in a conversation revolved around Edwards eyes or Jacobs abs, you have no doubt at some point wondered, what is it about vampires that make girls so gooey?

In traditional folklore vampires are usually described as being bloated and of a ruddy dark complexion as a result of all the blood they had been drinking turning them purple; a long-shot from the slender sparkly boy band types you see in Twilight. However this modern depiction of beautiful yet tragic creatures lost in the throng of estrogen fueled love and guilt seem to have taken the mantle from the popular depictions of old.

Which begs the question, are the Twilight ‘Vampires’ even legitimate Vampires, or by traditional folklore would they be better classed as fairies or pixies?

We at Way of the Player personally prefer the nitty-gritty vampires of old or even the dark malevolent characters you see in movies such as ‘Bram Stoker’s Dracula’, ‘Interview with a vampire’ or the HBO hit series ‘True Blood’, here you see them as they are, the living dead, savage and plagued by a quenchless hunger for fresh human blood.

These denizens of the night are more in tune with traditional folklore than many of the other common variations and although superficially beautiful they veil the rotting ugliness of their death beneath an alluring yet innately sinister facade.

Almost every culture on earth has some version of the Vampire yet Western culture is the only one which sought to romanticize the vampire where other cultures feared and loathed them as evil blood drinking demons intent on reeking havoc on the families of the recently deceased.

It seems as though we have chosen to pursue a more aristocratic depiction of the vampire as is evident in their repeated emergence amongst the nobility of Europe such as Countess Elizabeth Bathory otherwise remembered as the ‘Blood Queen’ of Hungary who was reputably responsible for the deaths of hundreds of young virgin women whose blood she would bathe in to retain her youth (such a waste of young Eastern European talent) or the better known Vlad III the impaler (Count Dracula) who collectively gave birth to this new idea of vampire-ism lurking within European royalty, a myth no doubt perpetuated by resentful peasantry and political opponents.

In earlier times in South Eastern Europe there were several official accounts of Vampire attacks which many modern scientists and intellectuals have attributed to a poor understanding of the process of decomposition and mass hysteria of poorly educated Slavic peasants, the most famous of which was the case of Arnold Paole, a stranger who arrived in a Serbian town claiming he had been harassed by a vampire only to rid himself of it by rubbing the blood of the ‘vampire’ on his skin and eating the earth of it’s grave (this was the best known vampire repellent available at the time).

Although this behavior in itself is quite strange and somewhat revolting, it gets a lot stranger when Arnold Paole broke his neck and died after falling from a wagon, only to rise from the grave and plague his fellow villagers, causing them to dig up his coffin and stake his remarkably not decomposed body (true story).

It seems however that the reaction nowadays to vampires raising from the grave has changed somewhat and the popular practice is for young women to offer themselves to them sexually; in favor of staking the undead bloodsucker through the heart as our ancestors once would have.

This new trend of vampiric eroticism has spread like wildfire in recent times due to a consistent media infatuation which delves beyond a healthy curiosity in the occult; for many it has become pop culture obsession and the evocative media figurehead of the Twilight character ‘Edward’, their cultural benefactor who has turned our beloved ‘Count Dracula’ into something of an outdated pariah.

So what is it about Edward and his undead kin that is so darn sexy?

Why have we as a culture permitted an otherwise awesome folklore and the foundations upon which many super cool films and books were written, to be turned into a glittering crystal pussy who is afraid of getting a boner?

Well we at ‘Way of the Player’ have taken it upon ourselves to examine this phenomenon so we can identify for you, our reader, exactly why so many women are getting caught up in the vampire obsession and how you as a Player can jeopardize on this cultural trend.

We’re going to achieve this by examining five important qualities which are synonymous with pop culture vampires and Way Of The Player Player’s.

1. Powerful

Vampires are often depicted as having super human powers, such as excessive strength, agility, the ability to fly and hypnotize people; some vampires are even able to transform into animals such as bats and wolves.

They are especially powerful and more often than not, they are ruthless and fearless, much like the Great White Shark or the African Lion, but you don’t see too many people jumping at the opportunity to get in bed with them now do you, so what makes Vamps so special?

They are humanoid and strongly resemble us and therefore they are automatically classed in our minds as being within the scope of what we perceive to be our species (or close enough) but that isn’t all; you may have noticed that the most seductive of all male vampires are also ALWAYS protective and territorial over their women and this makes women perceive protection through submission an innately human trait and a very fundamental part of sex.

Submission and sex go hand in hand or ‘his hard thingy inside her soft thingy’ and at risk of further infuriating our feminist fans out there we will continue to say that many women innately desire to be dominated at times (not all the time) but this taboo desire of a powerful sexual partner who is capable of dominating them completely is so biologically hardwired in the core of every female that a powerful male can prove very hard to resist despite common sense.

Well fortunately for men, this trait is not exclusive to Vampires. Any man can attract women by being powerful, and that certainly doesn’t mean being abusive or controlling; this will drive women away quicker and surer than anything.

However, as long as you can be willing to assume the role of leader when required, speak your mind when appropriate and attract the attention and respect of others around when you need it, then you will start to find women feel safe and attracted to you, you are an Alpha male.

2. Mysterious

Whenever an attractive woman meets a new guy, the first thing she does is tries to put him in a box.

And by box we mean a ‘social construct’ such as, jocks, nerds, pussies; if she can put a label on you then she can use her past experience of guys of your creed to deal/control/handle you and more often than not this is not good for your chances.

One thing vampires have going for them is their aura of mystery, when conversing with people they are most often polite, discreet and full of secrets, this causes women to feel intrigued. Curious animals we are, it is our nature to want to unveil all that is hidden and truly know and judge those who pass through our lives. The sooner we pass judgement the sooner we move on, that is why as a player it is crucial to keep some mystery about yourself and not allow people to make up their minds about you too quickly.

3. Unique

Vampires are naturally unique because they are not like any other humanoids, in that they are veiled in mystery, they are often depicted as being of high breeding (aristocratic) and they have excessive wealth, they also only venture out at night and they have one or two other peculiar habits that set themselves apart from your ordinary Joe. That doesn’t mean that you should start mimicking that behavior in order to attract women because that would make you a creep or weirdo.

A man needs to be a bit different these days to get some serious attention from beautiful women, if they can predict you because you’re like ‘every other guy’ they’ve met, then they will get bored of you and move on to someone more exciting, if they try and figure you out or you have qualities that fascinate them then they are going to want to stick around and get to know you better but you also need to be unique in the right ways.

For example.

You don’t…

-want to be unique because you don’t believe in deodorant and that nauseating smell coming from your armpits; pheromones baby!

-want to be unique because you are anal retentive about people touching your things (my precious).

-want to be unique by flamboyantly displaying your fondness of obese African women taking dumps on your chest whilst midget hookers tickle your feet.

Having such perks might make you unique, but they will make you unique for the wrong reasons and it is important to be able to draw the line here so you don’t creep beautiful women out with your ‘uniqueness’, being able to distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate just comes down to common sense but some examples of how you can be unique goes as follows.

You could…

-be unique by fluently speaking French and being able to recite the poetical works of Victor Hugo at will “si vous aimez les filles sexy françaises”.

-be unique by challenging an existing stereotype by becoming a fluid white break dancer or a hardcore Asian heavy metal rocker (these are not the only two options, use your imagination).

-be unique by being a really great listener because men who genuinely listen to beautiful women (and don’t glance at their breasts while they’re talking and think they don’t notice) are hard to find.

The possibilities are endless but what it really comes down too is that every Player should make sure he stands out in some way (NOT peacocking, no PUA crap here) and be a leader of men and industry in some particular field, you also need to know how to show this to a woman without appearing to be bragging because if you brag about one awesome thing then they will assume that’s all there is to you, however if they discover one awesome thing about you incidentally then they will assume that there are many awesome things about you and that will make them want to have sex with you.

4. Adventurous

In our structured repetitive lives we all crave a bit of adventure from time to time but whether that adventure is in the form of having your blood gruesomely sucked from your body by a hungry undead creature or just traveling on holiday to a country you’ve never been before, well that just comes down to a matter of personal preference.

However if you want to attract more women Vampire style, then it doesn’t hurt to be adventurous or even an adventure unto yourself.

Adventure and passion go hand in hand, the more experiences and variety of experiences you successfully endure with a girl without scaring her away, the more likely she is to become attracted to you, of course if you leave it too late to make your move then she will still be attracted to you but “as a friend” who she doesn’t want to have sex with because she doesn’t want to “risk your friendship”.

If you want to make a girl like you then you need to get her off her butt and proactively investing more of herself and her time in you, that is why when you take her on a date you want to show her a bit of adventure or if you know a girl likes you then you don’t want to give it up too easily because it will kill the adventure.

Falling in love revolves around a lot of push and pull, this is the adventurous part of it, trying to figure out what the other one is thinking and where you stand, if one person is doing all the chasing without getting anything back then it isn’t love and it isn’t seduction, it’s obsession and it’s pathetic.

Learn to love the thrill of adventure in the unknown that comes with meeting every new girl because if you fear it then you will naturally shy away from it, just think of how many times in movies you have seen the guy throwing himself and his heart at the girl only to get passed up for the guy who is a bit more of a challenge, these movies are based on real life and are a reflection of our societies current views and culture, that is why the macho werewolf with his heart on his sleeve gets passed up time and time again for the scrawny vampire who’s afraid of fucking but knows how to give a girl a good adventure.

5. Unattainable

The alluring vampire is the perfect temptation, he or she promises sexual gratification but at a very dear price, a price so dear that in order to succumb to the sexual desire they would need to give up everything and loose themselves as they are.

Women always want what they can’t have, whether it be chocolate at peril of getting plump or sex at peril of dangerous consequence, these forbidden pleasures drive women’s hearts wild and the higher the stakes the higher the passion.

Vampires perfectly epitomize romantic un-attainability because they are either another species or animated dead and therefore incapable of producing viable human offspring (through normal reproduction methods) or functioning as ordinary productive members of living human society.

Asides from the fact that their diet consists solely of human blood which can only be obtained by cannibalizing humans or robbing blood banks, they don’t even have a heartbeat and by nature and definition all vampires are sociopath serial killers and therefore not appropriate relationship material.

Ultimately we have to wonder whether we would be better of just going with the flow with these fads and buying into the whole Vampire fad to get the girl, going where the action is, so to speak but is the juice really worth the squeeze?

Before we go filing our teeth down and rubbing ourselves with glue and glitter in hopes of getting some ‘Twilight pussy’, we need to remember that like many fads they eventually pass and once the hype of Vampire flicks have run it’s course, these girls will start obsessing over the next pop icon that makes them wet in their panties and any guy who bought into this fad because he thought he would get some, will just be left feeling like an emasculated moron and an identity crisis.

And who knows which supernatural icon will be next on the media sensation agenda, maybe Bigfoot will have his run (you know what they say about men with big feet) and then excessive body hair on men will become popular again and Scottish will become the new Black!

We can never know for sure but until then the best thing we can do to improve our  chances is to study and apply the common traits and characteristics of modern sex icons which have such a significant affect on women, because although they may change, the fundamentals of what attracts women to men will always stay the same.

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