In this article we are going to be delve into the detail of physicality during seduction. In particular we will be focusing on physical male actions which result in sexual arousal reactions in women.
To make this as easy a process as possibly for you, we at Way of the Player have created a step by step guide to assist you in recognising transitional states and knowing which actions to take upon entering them.
The human body is home to literally billions of nerve cells which send billions of messages to and from the brain at any one time. When you consider that most of these nerve receptors are located within the erogenous zones it becomes clear how much arousal can be achieved with the right kinds of stimulation.
Psychology also plays a large role in whether the sensation of being touched in these areas is a pleasant or unpleasant sensation. Due to the heightened sensitivity it is easy to cause discomfort to a woman through improper or unwanted touching. In the event of sudden physical escalation it is easy to cause panic and discomfort if not handled in the right way. For this reason, when we are arousing women through physical contact, it is crucial that we take our time and go through the proper steps to ensure the best result and mutual pleasure and enjoyment throughout the course of the seduction.
One vital thing to remember when using physical contact to seduce a girl is this; everywhere a woman has let you touch her once, she will let you touch her there again within the same episode. This is why physical escalation is explained through a series of steps rather a general outline because once you have taken one step the only logical path is to take next step until you have reached the destination.
If these steps are memorized and followed fastidiously then they are guaranteed to improve your ability to successfully sexualise your encounters with beautiful women. There is no social environment where these same steps will not work. Whether it be at a nightclub, or on the train, or within the privacy of your bedroom, girls will find themselves allowing you to do much more than they intended because the transitions are so slight it is akin to the “frog in the pot” theory, they wont realize they are being purposefully aroused until it is too late to stop themselves feeling it.
New girls who don’t know you are going to have a very limited idea of what your personal boundaries are like, so if they are indeed a stranger they wont think there is anything odd about you touching them whilst you speak with them, however if you have known a girl for a long time and she knows you as being wooden then if you suddenly start touching her she might find it strange and unnerving, that is why from now on it is crucial that you go to step 1 of physical escalation (communicative touching) with EVERY new attractive girl that you meet.
Step 1 – Testing the water.
Step one progresses straight after you have just met a girl who you think you might be interested in.
During the first step we are testing more than anything and so when we touch them we are looking for how they respond to it. If you put your hand out to touch her and she pulls away from you then it is extremely unlikely that things will go anywhere from here so this would be a good time for you to move on, however if she welcomes the touch then you have a green light to continue and it is just a matter of being a cool sexy guy and escalating the sexual tension through the following steps.
In step one we are limited to non sensual touching, this means no erogenous zones. A girl needs to be familiar and comfortable with your touch before she allows you to touch her erogenous zones. Female erogenous zones are different to male erogenous zones as they are located throughout the body. Male erogenous zones, as you would have probably guessed, are all in one place. Throughout the following stages we will be highlighting which erogenous zones are appropriate for which steps.
During step one, whilst verbally communicating with a girl you have just met, you want to be taking the time to touch the side of her arm and her hands. The most effective way to do this without raising any eyebrows is when you are greeting her gently shake her hand letting your fingers slide along her palm as you draw your hand away or if you are being introduced and it is culturally appropriate. Alternatively, put a hand on her arm as you lean in and kiss her on the cheek concentrating more on brushing her cheek against yours rather than giving her a big sloppy kiss (make sure you’ve shaved).
During this stage you will want to use your language and actions congruently in the sense that as you ask a question or make a statement this is an opportunity to touch her on the arm without it seeming out of the ordinary as it just seems like you are touching her to gain her attention. However, you are also touching her to get her used to your touch so she will be more willing to let you touch her elsewhere.
Step 2 – Become flirtatious.
In step two we have reached a point where we know that a girl seems comfortable enough with us touching her casually so it is time to make it a bit more sexual and show her through touching her that you are interested in her and you are not afraid to be a bit more deliberate. This can be described as flirtative touching.
In order to do this effectively, you should touch her in the same places as initially but firmer and deliberately. For instance, instead of lightly touching her hand you could hold her hand whilst pretending to examine a ring she is wearing or take her hand to lead her somewhere, like to a couch or to the bar if you’re out somewhere.
If you have a fun vibe going with her then this would be a good time to sneak in a hug so she can get the scent of your aftershave and feel your warmth. Since it’s not appropriate to randomly hug people you could make a joke feigning approval and then go in for the hug. It’s important to note that at this stage your not trying to engage a girl in a lingering and awkward embrace. Something quick and playful is all you’re after, for example.
Her: I like horseriding.
Him: Wow, I used to be a jockey, what a co-incidence! We’re like long lost twins! (playful hug)
At this point you can also place your hand on her lower back, the most effective way to do this is to stand side on with her and place your hand on her back as you talk to her whilst facing in the same direction. For example, subtly do this whilst introducing her to a friend, pointing at something or waiting in line, although it is a deliberate flirtation it is still important that it feels natural to her so she doesn’t get alarmed.
Note: Do not confuse hand on ’lower back’ with ‘tushy squeeze’.
Step 3 – Show her you want her.
If you have gone through the previous two steps without her shying away from you then it is time to progress to the third stage, this stage is about openly showing her you are interested in her sexually and preparing her to be kissed, this stage is normally best initiated on a dance floor or somewhere a bit out of the spotlight and isolated.
It is vital that in step 3 the touching becomes sensual and we achieve this through making caressing motions with our hands where they may touch her, slowly running our fingers down her back, cupping and lightly squeezing her buttox in a caressing motion, putting our hands on her hips, lightly touching and running our fingers through her hair, cupping her chin to look into her eyes.
If she shys away from this kind of attention yet still remains, then stop touching her for a few moments until she physically relaxes again then resume your touching, she will either get annoyed and leave or more likely she will reluctantly give in to your persistance and let you touch her.
Step 4 – Making the move
When going into step four it can be quite easy to get carried away and over excited and burn out before you even get started. This is very common with guys trying to pick girls up in bars because they don’t know how to pace themselves and they kill the sensuality by being overzealous. Step four is as much about teasing as it is about escalating the sexual intensity. If you go for too much too soon and start ravishing her like a ravenous ravener then you will turn her off as quickly as you turned her on.
So in step 4 there is a focus of controlled sexual escalation and once you have kissed her the honus is on you to control how hot and heavy things get because you want to make her horny enough to want to sleep with you but not quash her horniness with your own excessive horniness.
In this particular stage it is common to receive some initial resisitance but the better you have played the previous steps the less likely she is to resist. In the event that she does resist your advances, take things back to step two and escalate again from there.
When preparing a girl to be kissed it is always beneficial to be holding her in some manner, not to prevent her from running away but rather to enforce the idea that you are in control and you are the man. The best way to do this is to put a hand up her back and under her hair holding the back of her head and then lean in and kiss her. Alternatively, you can put your hands around her hips encouraging her to put her arms around your neck and kiss you.
A kiss is more symbolic than anything, there are many other erogenous zones of the body with denser nerve endings which are much more effective in creating physical arousal. That being said, a kiss is psychologically arousing and is a major factor in sensuality. When we kiss a girl, we kiss her for a short period each time rather than continuously, this stops us from ‘over doing it’.
This is because kissing a girl non-stop for a long time will not make her more aroused it will actually achieve the opposite… she will quickly bore of the sensation. However if you ration kisses and keep them brief, teasing her, then she will continue to get excited and the sexual tension will either stay constant or increase. It will never however, decrease through this behaviour.
Be sure to use your hands whilst you are kissing her to take some of the emphasis off the kiss itself. Take a break immediately after your first kiss and go back to talking to her about herself. Then when you feel the time is right, kiss her again breaking it off after a few seconds. If there is no-one around then run your hand up her thigh over her stomach and cup her breast in your hand letting your thumb brush over the nipple, then return your hand to her hip.
Kiss her neck intermittedly and be careful not to slobber. Run your hands through her hair and over her body and then withrdraw the contact momentarily only to return it when she instigates it, this will drive her wild with desire.
Step 5 – The bedroom (or backseat of parents Ford Falcon).
You have teased her to the point where she was unable to resist the temptation of going home with you and you are now completely isolated in the place where you want to ‘make the sex’ with her (and her cute best friend you stud, you) but you’re unsure where to start. Then you suddenly remember that brilliant Way of the Player article you read on the internet and you suddenly have it covered. From your memory Step 5 went something like this…
Always start off with some form of erotic foreplay, you have to pre-heat the oven before you stick the turky in.
Fondle her breasts firmly but not hard, more like how you would handle a water balloon rather than how you would squeeze a lemon. Whilst you are doing this, kiss her neck and slowly work your way down until you reach her shoulder, take down the shoulder strap, if there is one, and kiss the inner of her shoulder. Pull her top down exposing one breast and suck on her nipple (it is a lot easier for resistance purposes than taking her top off) she should then allow you to suck on the other one. Once you have teased both her nipples till they are hard she will let you remove her top.
Work your way down from her breasts kissing her stomach around her belly button and if she is wearing jeans run your finger around the hem then kiss the area between her navel and vagina undoing the top button in the process. Work your way back up to kissing her and work her jeans off (or her skirt up) whilst she has your lips on hers.
Once you have her in nothing but her underwear you want to move on to kissing the inside of her thighs and running your tongue intermittedly along it’s length, this will tease her pussy and make her wet for you.
From here you want to rub the outside of her panties for a short while with one hand keeping your other hand massaging her breast(s) and then wet your fingers with your tongue and pull her panties aside to stroke her clitoris directly and gently with your wet index finger or your thumb. (It is better at this point to pull them aside than try to take them off, follow the path of least resistance). Don’t put your fingers straight inside her as it is unlikely she will be sufficiently lubricated down there for it to be a pleasant experience.
Ideally you will want to go from here to eating her pussy (see “How to eat pussy like a Player“) but if you are someone who doesn’t enjoy oral sex or she smells bad down there then you want to get her on the bed and alternative between sucking her nipples and rubbing her clit and/or dry humping.
Once she is sufficiently horny ask her if she wants you to wear a condom (this is a bit of a trick question because whether she says yes or no she is still committing to sex). Put a condom on regardless of her answer and if she is offering resistance, rather than keep trying to get her underwear off move them to one side and go down on her putting your wet finger(s) in and out of her until she is ready for your cock. If you’re particuarly good at this then keep bringing her near the brink of climax without actually making her orgasm as this will make her more desperate for you cock and the sexual release it represents.
So in conclusion, like all things it life, it’s imperative that your actions reflect your words; otherwise you risk your words losing viability. For most people the desire to touch during an interaction is instinctual, as it helps to portray emotions, feelings and sexual interest. However, Western society has taught us to be wooden, respectful of other peoples boundaries and somewhat detached in our communication with others. So therefore it is up to us to train ourselves to embrace social freedoms, such as unihibited and natural physical contact, rather than shy away from them.
If these steps are followed devoutly then you can not go wrong. Not only will they save you the embrassment of having your rash advances rejected due to skipping stages, they will also greatly increase the likelihood of the girl you kiss going home with you that night. Throughout the duration of this 5 step process, she has been investing time and energy in you and has experienced a sustained gradual increase in sexual arousal which is much more effective and long lasting than a sudden increase in sexual arousal. The quicker they go up, the quicker they go down.