How Our Influences Can Shape Our Lives
Recently I had to remove someone from my life who was very important for a long time and a big influence. It wasn’t easy because this person was family but it was necessary because their self-destructive behavior and selfishness was having a negative impact on my life.
Some people might view this as harsh. How could I turn my back on a family member in need?
I myself would have questioned this once but I spent a great deal of my life around negative influences and all it did was prevent me from living a full productive life. I was a sponge for other peoples negativity, because of their selfishness everyone around them including myself would suffer. How is that fair?
It is one thing trying to help someone but it is another thing sacrificing your health and well-being for someone. You need to know where to draw the line.
If someone you know is constantly making poor decisions that cause trouble in their lives. Are you always going to be there for them, ready to help take on the burden and be a shoulder to cry on? Or are you going to make a stand and make it clear that you have a greater purpose in life than helping them sort out their bullsh*t.
Everybody makes mistakes from time to time and we are only human. But when somebody continues to make the same mistakes again and again and when they refuse to learn their lesson, then this person is no longer deserving of your time or sympathy.
This person is a negative influence and their negativity is contagious. If you spend too much time with this person then they will rub off on you and that’s just not fair.
You Are Only Responsible For Your Own Happiness
One lesson that life will teach us time and time again, is that we can only help someone who wants to be helped. I have had several teaching jobs over the years and this is something I have seen time and time again.
The first teaching job I had was when I ran a “Dating Coaching Service”. I would take on men who wanted to improve their lives. I would invest my time and energy into helping them overcome the hurdles that were keeping them from living happy healthy lives full of love and positivity.
Through this job, I learnt that everyone wants to be happy but not everyone is willing to do what it takes to be happy. Many people choose to leave this up to a twist of fate, never really going after their dreams but just hoping, wishing, praying that the Universe would acknowledge their unhappiness and bad luck and turn the odds in their favor.
These people spend their entire lives waiting and avoiding the truth of their situation.
It’s easier just to stick with what they know. It’s safe, comfortable, familiar. But unfortunately it’s also boring, stagnant and draining to the soul.
More often than not, these people have a lot of negative influences in their lives. People who emotionally drain them on a regular basis. People they feel obligated to help, who take and take but rarely give back. People who drag them down and keep them from reaching their full potential.
One thing that we all need to accept, is that we are only responsible for our own happiness and nobody but us can make us truly happy.
That means that if you want to be happy, then you need to take action to create a happy life for yourself because it will never just be given to you, you actually need to create it.
Part Of Becoming A Player
If you want to become a player and grow as a person, then you will need to make sure that you keep the right influences in your life. Because as independent as we may be, we will always be affected by the people around us.
We are human, we care. We invest time and energy in people, and if we invest that time and energy in people that will hold us back rather than propel us forward, then we are setting ourselves up for disappointing results.
If you want to grow and reach your full potential as a Player, then you will need to give yourself an environmental audit.
That means you will need to take a good hard look at your life and distinguish between the positive and negative influences and take action to remove the negative, no matter how attached to it you are.
You only get one chance at life, so make sure you spend it with people who will bring positivity and happiness into your life.
Whether it is a friend, an ex girlfriend, a brother, a mother, a father. Don’t let misplaced loyalty hold you back from moving on with your life.
Just like a plant that has grown too big for it’s pot, if you don’t change your environment, you will never be able to grow. Think about it.
By Kieran Black[social_share\]