I had been communicating with a woman that I began to take a good deal of interest in recently and had some interesting information revealed to me. We had hung out several times, really enjoyed each others company, and out of no where she began to drift away. After being consistently texted daily from her since we first met, three days had past and I had no heard from her at all. Now of course, I naturally didn’t pay it any mind. Once you get rooted in this whole lifestyle you learn that amazing women come and go all the time. And this woman in particular had gotten hurt in her last relationship and was giving off what I thought to be an impression that she wasn’t in the proper frame of mind to be a candidate for anything serious anyway. Not to mention that she’s a lawyer and extremely goal oriented, and if anyone knows me they know that I do not make exceptions for career focused “busy women”. If you can not provide me with the levels of compliance I require due to your career I will not commit to you, unless of course we find ways to add balance to the relationship on my end. So, I wasn’t looking at her like a potential girlfriend at all, but I did greatly enjoy her company and was going to ride the wave with her as long as she continued to be compliant with the availability that she had.
The third day of non contact was christmas and I had gotten a generic “ Merry Christmas” text from her that could of been sent to anyone, and so I didn’t pay that any mind either. If I don’t see any emotional investment within a text message a girl sends me, I’ll usually ignore it and go about my day. Those generic “ Hey whats up” text that come from ex girlfriends are always ignored. They’re attention seeking and I’m not playing that game. It takes vulnerability to motivate me to communicate with a woman. Women are emotional, so if a woman isn’t telling me how she feels, or isn’t implying feelings she doesn’t get my attention in exchange for her contact attempt.
Two days later she texted me showing some level of vulnerability “You don’t like texting me anymore? “
I reply “ You’ve been contacting me?”
She responded “Nope. But I was hoping you would say something since we last saw each other” (More vulnerability.. Now she had my attention)
I follow up with “ I’ve thought about you”
She goes “ Have you? And why didn’t you text me? “
I say “ Why all the questions?” and then “ You know I like you right? “
Her: You’re so confusing Eddie!
Me: I told you to text me when you made it home and all I got was some lame generic christmas text
Her: Whoops. I totally for about that.
Her : Okay its my fault
Her : I admit it
Her: Forgive me?
She called me that evening, we talked it out, and everything seemed all fine and well until I abruptly had to get off the phone to finish getting some work done. She pouted because she wanted me to stay on the phone longer, but I said that i had to go and hung up midway through her pouting because she continued to persist.
This all led up to me not hearing from her at all for another four days. Once again, I didn’t pay it much mind and I felt like the amount of time that I gave her on the phone warranted her to initiate contact with me the next day(You’ll gain more understanding on this from my time vs compliance article coming up soon. Men wanting compliance and women wanting investment/time). Another thing about me is that I never chase women. I invest what I feel to be an adequate amount of my time, and then I wait for a return of compliance and then I invest a little more time and wait for that return of compliance. This is how I manage my relationships. Guys that over invest often take a big emotional hit(heart breaks, oneitis), and when a guy under invests the girls he has won’t be around for long before they begin seeking investment elsewhere. Everyone has there own sense of self worth. We all feel we are deserving of different levels of the things that we want. And so after not hearing from her for four days I decided that I was probably under investing so I texted her saying “So you left me for a fish? “. Alluding to the new fish she told me she had gotten the last time we talked. She replied “No I have just been busy studying for this position at work”. And I naturally took that as a lack of vulnerability and a lack of emotion and so I ignored her response. Three hours later she calls me on FaceTime and we begin chatting everything through. She started by telling me that she didn’t feel like I cared about her or liked her and so she began to fade out. She told me thats she’s not going to continue chasing a guy that wasn’t showing much interest in her. I entertain it for a second, but I didn’t feel like that was the root of her behavior and so I gently continued to pry as we were talking about other topics and thats when the truth came out.
She admitted to me that she had went to dinner with her friends the last day me and her hung out, she told them about me, and after all four of them reviewed the situation they told her that she play it distant. That she shouldn’t initiate anymore contact with me and that if I contact her for her to screenshot it for all of them and send it into their group chat and they would tell her how to respond. I found this odd of course, because as guys we just don’t do shit like that. We may ask for advice but for the most part we handle our own. We don’t go group planning our entire relationship.
So thats what happened, she didn’t disappear because she wanted to necessarily, she disappeared because her friends told he that it was best that she did. That other wise she would end up “losing the game”… whatever that game is. We talked it out, and it ended with me basically telling her that unless her friends are in happy relationships that it wouldn’t be wise to take their advice verbatim.
And so I everything is back to normal now, I just wrote this because as guys who are highly sought out by women its very easy to get caught up in this concept of letting women go without thinking twice and moving onto a new one. Maintenance is also important, you don’t want to get so rooted in letting go of women that you just become completely uncaring and unable to have an actual relationship when the time comes. This is what was happening to me, I was becoming unfeeling almost and the women in my life were feeling like I didn’t care whether they were around or not and it began to scare them. However, this write up is NOT for the beginners. If your game isn’t tight and you have not let go of a sufficient amount of women in your life out of choice and not necessity you must learn to do so before you can ever apply this. This for the guys who have their game tight already, that may be letting go of too many women too quickly who are acting properly and continuing to add value to their lives. If you owned a company and you found yourself letting go off too many employees too easily you’d would eventually be met with a challenge. Low level employees do need to know that they can easily be replaced, but the more a woman works her way up in your company(your life) the more she’ll want to feel like she’s not as replaceable as the lowest level employees.
If you have any questions about whether or not you should reel a girl back in or completely let her go email me and we’ll figure out how far along you are in your game and whether or not you’re in your building stage or your maintenance stage.
Thanks for reading.
Peace & Love
For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com
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