Reinvent yourself in 24 hours
People do not embrace change easily. They don’t view it as an opportunity, a solution or recognize it for what it is – the only constant in life. People
But since you’re reading this, I’m assuming you don’t fall into this category. You might fear change, but yet something got you to this site and to click on this article. That’s promising. That’s what makes you different from a huge percentage of the population that loves the status quo. And I’m not talking about the status quo of the system we live in, no. I’m talking about the inner status quo and the fact that you are (almost) ready to take the leap and become a player. And we as players do not fear change. We actively seek it. We embrace it. We love it.
I used to understand people who rationalize on and on about why they won’t do something. Why they won’t lose weight. Why they won’t start a business. Why they won’t approach that girl at the bar. Yes, losing weight is hard. I know, I’ve been there myself for a number of years and in a way – I always will be. Yes, starting a business is tough. You need a good idea, a good
team and funding and even then there’s no guarantee it will work.
And then we have the girl at the bar. Oh Brother, that’s gotta be the biggest fear factor men face in the world today, right?
All these assumptions about something being hard, or tough or impossible are irrational thoughts produced by our inner fear. It is because most people tend to think that change is a process. It is not. Change happens the moment you take action. Sticking to that change is a process and those are two very different beasts.
Think about quitting a habit like smoking. You quit smoking the very second you’re done with that cigarette. But yet somehow, you become a smoker again after lighting another one. It might be counter-intuitive at first, but if you apply that principle to other examples – cutting weight, starting something new (be it business, a movement, a habit) or just hitting on
girls – you will notice that change is immediate. It’s only our fear that keeps us trapped in not sticking with the plan. Nothing more, nothing less.
To put things even more in perspective, I wanna talk about my own example because I too am guilty of fearing change for a long, long time.
A couple of years back I wasn’t much of a Player, alpha male, or whatever you wanna call it. I thought I was, until I realized I was not even close to what women perceive as desirable, attractive or successful. I was overweight, freshly dropped out of college with a lousy job selling PCs and other IT equipment in a local shop. I was a fucking clerk. I was also very dishonest, manipulative and with no sense of honor. Do I have to point out the obvious thing that I wasn’t having any luck with the ladies?
As my contract at work was running out with only a few days left (everyone expected me to sign a new one) it finally hit me – I do not want to do this for a day longer. I informed my employers that I will not sign the contract and that I’m leaving in two days when it runs out. I was done with being a clerk and making money for people who do not care about me. Never again. So I became a freelance writer and a part-time online poker player. Overnight.
Not long after that my weight problem hit me on the head with a bat. I was a 23-year old who isn’t into any sports, which was laughable because I’ve trained in a lot sports for a better part of my life. So a friend took me to see some MMA training, a sport that was disgusting from my point of view. Fifteen minutes later I was laying on the mat covered in sweat and thinking to myself – man, I love this shit. And I’ve never looked back. Overnight I became an MMA practitioner.
Now I want to rewind back and emphasize the last two paragraphs before continuing. Here’s the catch if you’ve missed it: quitting my job and taking up a sport I hated was a **decision**. I never rationalized and bullshitted myself. I just did it. My heart was in the right place and I didn’t even give a single fuck about what anyone else might think of how irrational my actions were.
And then, after 23 years of living in the dark I decided to take that way of the heart and shine some much needed light on my love life. The results were astonishing.
You see, it’s not that I end up having sex with every girl I flirt with. But then again, it’s not that I’m better than every sparring partner I meet, right?
But the change in my thinking framework drives me to view the world in a very different way. Not that life becomes easier, it becomes better. Unpleasant situations became opportunities, but those opportunities needed action. And my acting framework is always the same, just as yours. Like Yoda explained to Luke Skywalker – “Do or do not, there is no try”. So yeah,
hit on that girl. You will fail a lot and you will fail hard. You will do it or you will not. In between there is only worthless rationalization.
But something happens when you overcome those inner fears and start doing. You realize that the game becomes easier and that problems you initially thought of as unbearable are now a piece of cake. It’s not that the game suddenly went from hard to easy mode. You just got better. It’s not that you won’t feel initial discomfort – trust me, there are people far more
braver and far more famous then you and me that still feel nervous when they need to take action. Actors, singers, entrepreneurs, writers and Players all feel this inner resistance before they commit to their work.
But then they do indeed act in spite of it and that makes them great. That makes them remarkable.
Being a Player isn’t a status you suddenly reach and then you’re done with it. First it’s an idea born out of frustration and frustration is the agent of change, both inner and outer. Then it becomes a never ending process if you decide to stick with it. If you decide to be the best, both for yourself and everyone around you. It takes a second to think of, a few more
seconds to visualize and a lifetime of doing. And doers are rare. Be rare my friend.
I’m 26 now.
I’m a first time entrepreneur, a writer, a fighter and viewed as a leader personality among my peers. My love life boomed as a result of doing things I love. It boomed because I rejected fear and embraced change. But if someone told 3 or 5 years ago I’d be this blessed… you know.
So you see it takes less then 24 hours to reinvent yourself. It takes only a second. However, the question remains if you’re bold enough to follow up on that invention and deal with the ups and downs along the road.
By Bojan[social_share\] by