If you want to be a Player you need to be independent and that means learning to overcome neediness.
I wasted more loads on Tori Black than I ever did on real women. I had no idea how to meet beautiful women other than using internet dating sites; this is how I met my ex.
We were together for six tumultuous years. We were engaged to be married and had decided the names of our future children. She was a beautiful, yet she was also an emotionally needy woman.
Looking back, I was emotionally needy too, I just didn’t have enough self-awareness to realise it back then. I hear a lot of people saying that you shouldn’t be emotionally needy if you want to meet women.
That’s rubbish, any man is capable of attracting a woman, even a needy man. If you are needy, you will attract needy women into your life. The flip side of this is that if you have an attractive state of mind, you’ll attract attractive women.
When I met my ex, I was emotionally needy, I was so invested in finding a relationship and giving it my all, and so was she. We had an intense relationship where we moved in together early on and we meant everything to each other. I spent no time concentrating on my social life, unless it included her. Our relationship began to fall apart when I started to take my career and hobbies more seriously.
I was offered a high paying position working strange hours, and I took it. This freed up more time in the day for me to partake in my hobbies of lifting weights and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. The fact that I was spending more time on these hobbies meant that I was getting more proficient at them which in turn made me more confident in myself.
I was never happier, I was making good money, thanks to the gym, I was liking what I saw in the mirror, thanks to BJJ I could choke the piss out of most guys who laid a hand on me, and I had a beautiful woman to come home to. But she was dissatisfied that I wasn’t focusing my life on her as I had done in the past, which in turn made me feel as though she wasn’t being supportive of me and my progress as a man. It was a mutual decision to break up.
Breaking up was a milestone for me, I could never have broken up with her in the past because I thought I couldn’t live without her. That was when I was operating from a neediness mentality, I thought that I needed a woman to feel good, to be a man. At the point when we decided to break up, I had figured out that it’s not how women behave towards me that makes me happy, it’s taking pleasure in what I do that makes me happy.
What I needed to cure myself of emotional neediness was self-absorption. Taking pleasure in what I do, enjoying life and feeling no shame for seeking enjoyment and pleasure, this is what makes me content.
I am in control of me and only me, I can not control anything else. I can only influence others. I am attractive to attractive women because I am attractive to myself and not because I need a woman to boost my ego or make me happy.
Being happy, content and seeking pleasure in myself and not others was the first stage in removing me of my neediness. The next stage was actually having options. On any given day I can now call one of several women that I have met to spend time with me. If any of them should decide that they’ve had enough of me, it will be a shame, but it’s okay because I still have options.
Overcome Neediness And Have The Women In Your Life Revolve Around You
Imagine that you are the sun, you are powerful, radiant and full of energy. The women in your life are the planets that orbit you. What keeps the women coming back around for more, for their slice of radiance and sunshine, is attraction and their need for your masculine energy. It’s our biological responsibility as men to seek women, if we are powerful enough, they will remain in orbit. All we have to do is be attractive.
If one of these planets was to disappear into a black, do you think the sun would keep on shining?
People will come and go and they will offer us a good time, a friendship or more but in the end the only one that you can be sure will remain is yourself and if you are truly self-sufficient and without neediness then people will feel safe in getting to know you because they know you will be a asset rather than a burden.
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