My struggle to overcome introversion.
Often people criticize me for being a quiet guy and I’m okay with that. When I talk, I say things for my own amusement and benefit. People who do a lot of talking, often have a lot to prove.
You should be consciously aware of what you are sub-consciously projecting with your words. We are so focused on talking to fill the void of awkwardness that we unintentionally reveal a lot about ourselves. You can not, not communicate with people. Even when you are silent you are communicating. When you don’t show up somewhere, or you ignore someone, you have communicated something.
Overcoming introversion is not about being a boisterous loud-mouthed d!ck-head. It’s about being aware of what you are communicating, being aware of what you are choosing to reveal about yourself and being comfortable with what you are revealing.
Your actions, or lack of actions communicate much more about you than your words. To overcome introversion, say the things that are on your mind and do the things that will bring you the most pleasure, even if your actions are at odds with your words.
For me, it started with seeking pleasure by focusing on things I enjoy like my career and my hobbies. Then I started speaking my mind without inhibition. Not hesitating to say exactly what I was thinking and doing it for my own amusement. I started to make a lot more friends, people thought I was funny and genuine because I could talk about taboo subjects without batting an eyelid.
Now I’ve started applying that mentality to meeting women. I’m completely honest about who I am and my intentions when I approach a woman. I like to approach beautiful women in difficult scenarios. Like when they are walking briskly in the opposite direction down a busy street and I have to go running after them and dozens of people are watching me. The reason behind this is that my action in stopping them communicates their first impression about me. I’m hoping the message that I communicate by stopping them is “this guy has massive balls.”
What I’ve done and said to get dates, sex, etc. is nothing special, no pick-up lines, just a general chat focused on her with me stating my sexual intent by saying something fairly innocuous like “you look cute”. If I reflect on what has worked, it’s not what I’ve said that matters, it’s how I’ve felt when I said it. It’s when I am feeling most nervous and vulnerable and still approach anyway that I get the number.
Your mind will always come up with bullshit excuses not to approach beautiful women. That’s normal and happens to so-called naturally extroverted guys too. From taking the Melbourne Wolfpack out on day-game sessions, here are some excuses that come up frequently: She’s too hot, I don’t find her attractive, she’s not alone, she’s on the phone, I’m Asian and she’s white, I’m short and she’s tall.
All those excuses are creations of your mind, they exist nowhere else but your mind. If overcoming introversion is saying the things on your mind and “she’s too hot” is what is on your mind then you have to trump what is on your mind with what will bring you the most pleasure. Imagine that hot woman giving you a blow job, will that give you pleasure? If she’s any good at giving head, then yes. Even if she’s not, it will probably still be pleasurable.
So it’s okay to say “she’s too hot” and then approach her anyway, because your actions always trump your words.
By Glen Clive
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