In ‘My Top 10 Player Fails (Part 1)‘ you read about my embarrassing love letter… My almost F-buddy… My clueless School dance… My failed threesome and the beautiful Irish bartender model dancer I scared away by being obsessive and jealous.
You probably thought of some of your own love hardships whilst you were reading about mine. And unless you have spent your entire life playing it safe and never trying, you probably understand some of the humiliation and heartbreak involved in each incident.
I’m quite sure I have more ‘Player fail’ stories than most guys, simply because I have tried a lot harder than most guys. And half a decade ago I decided that this was going to make or break me. I wasn’t going to give up until I conquered my fears, mastered my love life and became a great Player.
In that time, through the baptism of fire. I accumulated a wealth of experience which surpassed just about anyone I know. After five years of solid commitment to the cause of becoming a true Player I have been through so many different seduction and dating scenarios that when someone comes to me with a problem, I don’t speculate, I remember.
To some this seems like wisdom and I am often asked, how do I know so much about seduction and dating?
And the answer is simple, I have been through it all… I have loved and lost, I have succeeded and failed, I have been embarrassed, abused, humiliated, enlightened, praised, loved… I have lived a full life and followed a set of uncompromising values which have seen me through countless struggles on the eternal journey towards greener Player pastures.
Will reading about my past Player fails help you to avoid making the same mistakes? It probably will, but that isn’t my real purpose here; my purpose in this is to show you that all Great Players started somewhere and success in love and life is not given, it is taken and it is earned.
If you want to know what it feels like to be a Master Player then you need to start putting yourself out there in the danger zone and be prepared to fail. Because failure is and always will be a necessary stepping stone on the path to success.
The sooner accept this basic truth, the sooner you will start winning in life and the sooner you will become a Player.
Player Fail 6. The Long Distance Relationship
When you spend days, weeks, months, years apart from someone with whom you only have fond memories, then that is how you will always remember them.
For many in my generation when we first saw Arnold Swarzneggar as a futuristic Cyborg in ‘The Terminator’ and later as Major Alan “Dutch” Schaefer in Predator. We could only envision Arnold Swarzneggar as a macho bad-ass and an all round hero and then the movie ‘Junior’ came out where he played a pregnant man and well… That movie was a bit too big a dose of reality for many of us to cope with. Arnold wasn’t a hero, he was just another tasteless Hollywood actor.
We never knew the real Arnie who was a bit of a sexual deviant and would later become a politician. We saw him as we chose to see him and we built him up and idolized him in our head to be what we needed him to be, a hero.
We have all idolized someone at some point or another and I did this frequently well into my late teens. the first time I remember doing this with a girl, I had met her once and I had never even touched her. I was fourteen years old and I underwent an exchange program with a school in Central Australia.
When I was there, in a place called Alice Springs, I met a girl when the host kid I was staying with met her friends for a movie. I nervously sat next to her in the movie and after I got her e-mail address and once I went back to Melbourne I started e-mailing her and after about two weeks of this I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend and she said “yes”.
This long-term relationship if you can call it that went on for about six months with no further developments. She eventually told me that she had started seeing another guy and it was over.
In my head, this was my first girlfriend and during that time I was completely devoted to the idea of the girl without actually looking to the person behind my idolization… She was an immature shallow, insecure thirteen year old girl.
This wouldn’t be the last time I would fall in love with the idea of a girl either. For the next four years with every new girl I met, I fell into the same trap of wanting to ‘know what love was’ so bad that any and every girl that showed me any attention was special and amazing and the one that I was supposed to be with. This behavior of course continued to alienate girls throughout my teenage years.
Player Fail 7. The Writing Camp
When I was 15 I was at an all boys school, this was year 9, prior to the year I would spend back at co-ed public school.
At this school we didn’t have a lot of opportunities to meet girls naturally. Well at least this is what I told myself to shirk the responsibility of actually making an effort to talk to the hundreds of girls I saw every morning and afternoon on the way to and from school.
When I was 15 there was a writer who I was very fond of and his name was ‘John Marsden’. He wrote a series for teenagers which was very popular at the time, ‘Tomorrow When The War Began’.
I guess despite John Marsden being a popular author he must of still been pretty strapped for cash because an opportunity came up at school for students to partake in a ‘John Marsden Writing Camp’.
Ever since I was young I have always been interested in writing and so I eagerly signed up to go on the camp especially when I discovered that the camp was also open to some ‘all girls schools’ in the area. So me and one other guy from my school got into this camp.
Once I got to this camp, it was full of activities that enabled me to meet a lot of girls. Since there were only a few other guys there and I was the only decent looking one without a face full of acne, it was easy to meet them. They were taking every opportunity to talk to me.
One of the girls was far better looking than the rest and throughout the camp we chatted a fair bit and after the camp finished I added her on MSN Messenger (showing my age here) and started talking to her every night.
I had a feeling that she liked me but I couldn’t be sure and at one point during the camp she was acting a bit strange (in retrospect I think she was actually pissed at me for giving attention to other girls but naturally it was a good kind of pissed). I didn’t realize that she was pissed because she liked me and what’s more, I didn’t realize that when her friend came online and started talking to me and asked me what I thought of her hot friend that perhaps she was behind it…
It didn’t occur to me at all that her hot friend might actually be sussing out through her average friend whether I was interested because she had actually been interested in me the entire time.
So when Hot Girls friend asked me what I thought of her and I answered “she’s good looking but can be a bit of a bitch” I got a nasty surprise when Hot Girl came on-line. She blasted me telling me that she had wanted to go out with me but not now that I thought she was a bitch and then she deleted me.
I spent the next few weeks obsessing over her, going online every night trying to talk to her friend to get her to un-delete me but after awhile it just looked sad and that boat had well and truly sailed.
Player Fail 8. Negging
When I first got into seduction and dating, I read a book called ‘The Game’ which despite being a book that was supposed to improve a guys game I think it actually had the opposite affect and it severely handicapped me and filled my head with a lot of useless nonsense.
One of those nonsense head fillers was a concept called ‘Negging’ which was popular in the seduction community at the time and involved mildly insulting beautiful women in order to lower their self-esteems to a level where they became so insecure that they would willingly drop their standards and hook up with the first awkward creepy geek to come their way.
So I started doing it pretty regularly and despite it never ever working, I just assumed that I needed more practice but the problem was I was practicing to be a creepy assh*le and if I had had more sense of the time I would have realized that I didn’t want to be a creepy assh*le in fact naturally I was a charming funny guy, so I should have been practicing to be a better, more confident charming funny guy.
One night that I will always remember, finally got me to put to rest this bad habit once and for all. I was at a friends party and I didn’t really know anyone and there was a beautiful blond girl there wearing a checkered dress, so i approached her and I said ‘It looks like you just raided a picnic basket’
My ‘neg’ worked in one sense… My comment did lower her self esteem and make her insecure but it did not make her feel attracted to me, in fact she told me that I was an assh*le and she went and told her girlfriend who just happened to be the party host and her and all of her girlfriends gained up on me and told me to leave the party immediately or they would get their boyfriends to kick my ass.
That was the last time I ever negged.
Player Fail 9. Schoolies
Every year in Australia we have a rite of passage which takes place at the completion of high school, where we book a hotel somewhere near the beach with a bunch of our best mates and we spend a week in Sunny paradise with thousands and thousands of other young men and women trying to get drunk and laid.
Schoolies is the Australian equivalent of the well known American Spring Break Festival, we have a very similar set up, lots of girls flashing and people having sex everywhere. It is the one time of the year when girls really let their hair down and it is very unusual for someone to go up to Schoolies and not get laid at least once.
I was 17 when I went up there and before going I borrowed my brothers drivers license so I was all set to party and pick up girls.
I was still a virgin at this age so I had put a lot of pressure on myself to make it happen over Schoolies and I firmly believed that if I couldn’t pick up a girl on Schoolies then I was a total loser and I was going to be a virgin for a long time.
When we got up there, we hired mopeds we got wasted and we went out on the town and the streets were packed with horny young beautiful women and I barely approached any of them because with all the time I had been spending in the gym, I was certain that they would approach me and I wouldn’t have to do anything.
Well that night, one very pretty girl did approach me and strangely enough this very pretty girl named Nat, came with a very obese gay best friend named Carl and after we spoke and flirted I was certain that it was going to happen between us.
Over the duration of my entire Schoolies this girl continued to lead me on until I found out that she had a boyfriend, I was okay with that until I found out that she had cheating on her boyfriend the entire time she was at Schoolies with another guy she had met up there.
The entire Schoolies trip I had been driving her about on my Scooter getting her and her friends alcohol and I didn’t even get so much as a kiss.
It wasn’t until a few years later when I finally got with her that I realized she wasn’t all I had made her out to be and I didn’t enjoy it half as much as I thought I would because I realized that she wasn’t a very nice person and I didn’t even really like her as a person, I only wanted to hook up with her because I needed to feel that validation from her to feel good about myself.
Even though I got her in the end, I still failed because I let an unworthy tart get under my skin and I let her ruin what should have been a monumental time for me and an important rite of passage.
I don’t resent her for being a bad human being but that experience did help me realize that I had a pattern of idolizing beautiful women and I was constantly committing to every girl that I met because I was terrified I would never find another beautiful girl who could want me.
Player Fail 10. Thailand
A few years ago I went to Thailand with two friends of mine. This was only a couple of months after my return from my first overseas trip where I learnt game and I was very heavily into it.
My approaching in hostels was awesome, I was able to meet people and make friends easily and at the first hostel/resort we arrived at (Coral Bungalows) I jumped in the pool and approached two very attractive British girls, a Blond and a Brunette. I got to talking to them and they informed me that they had wanted to stay on longer but the hostel/resort had told them that there were no more rooms. I had an extra bed in my room, so I decided to offer them to stay in my room for free and they cordially accepted.
As soon as we got to my room, I showed them the double bed and I said, I’ve already set up my stuff on the double and the hot brunette said, okay I’ll share with you but for some reason I was trying to be a gentleman and I told her, that’s okay, you guys take the double and I will take the single. I had just c*ckblocked myself for no particular reason…
A few days went on and the whole time I was going out of my way to be a nice gentleman, this was before I had learnt that beautiful women don’t want ‘nice guys’, they want good guys with balls. My balls were tiny at the beginning of this trip and I had become so concerned with making everyone like me I had forgotten the importance of stepping up and being a man.
I was in a situation where I had two beautiful women who were up for a good time staying in my room and both of them were interested me and despite both of them letting on that they were attracted to other women, I was being too much of a gentle nice guy to try for a threesome, in fact I was being so nice that I was trying hard not to be the slightest bit sexual because I was afraid it might upset them.
Three days into the trip despite me being a total pussy, the brunette girl giving me lots of really positive signs and after a few vodka buckets I built up the courage to go for a kiss.
We kissed by the pool and French Kissed for a few minutes then I asked her if she wanted to come back to the room. She told me she would meet me back there but had to go to the toilet. I waited in the room for four hours for her to come back, only to discover from the blond girl at about 3am that she had run into a guy she liked more and had spent the night with him instead.
Despite all that, I was so nice that I never even said a word about it and I continued to give them lifts, buy them food and treat them like princesses and because of that, neither one of them wanted to have sex with me.
Not because they were bitches or users but because I wasn’t being a man, I was ignoring my balls, I was practically a eunuch and beautiful women want to have sex with men, not nice little choir boys.
After I parted ways with them I actually started picking up and got a few notches on my bedpost during the following week but I learnt a very valuable lesson from those girls and despite how blue my balls were as a result of me not acknowledging them, I’m grateful that it happened because after that, it never happened again.
By Kieran Black[social_share/]
These were my Top 10 Player Fails, if you have some of your own you would like to share then please click below to be directed to the appropriate section of the forum.