Become A Player – Learn To Live With Yourself

This article explains why you need to learn to live independently of others, if you want to become a Player.

In my 9,338 days upon this Earth, I have encountered a lot of unhappy people in unfulling relationships and I would bet that you have too.

They know that the person they are with is holding them back, making them miserable, stopping them from living happy productive lives. But they feel powerless to do anything about it because deep down they believe that if they leave that unfulling relationship then they will never find anyone better.

This belief is so common that I see it every day. I see women and men with emotionally abusive partners. I see them getting by, day by day holding on to that last vestige of hope. Believing in futility that one day, their partners will change for the better. That they will mature or soften with time until eventually everything becomes allright and this counter-productive relationship that has been wasting away their best years will suddenly change for the better and everything will be great.

Those of us with any common sense see this kind of situation and we know that they are just chasing the pot of the gold at the end of the rainbow. We know that it never happens that way and if we know this, then at some stage or another we probably bailed from a relationship just like this and faced the unknown head-on.

Fundamentally, a relationship is an investment and like any business investment, when you have put everything you have into it and it has yielded no return, then only an idiot would put more money into a bad investment.

It ‘s exactly the same with relationships. Only instead of investing money, we are investing time and time is a far more valuable commodity since it is veritably limited.

So why do people waste this most precious resource so recklessly? why do we content ourselves with mediocrity when we could be truly happy living awesome lives?

There is no rational reason why we do this but there is however A reason. One word with one meaning, which signifies so much, which has been with us since the dawn of time.


Fear is what stops us from exploring the unknown. Fear is what led us to believe for so long that the world is flat, fear is what keeps us at war with one another. Fear is what keeps us from reaching our potential as both human beings and a society as a whole. Fear will hold you back on your journey to become a Player.

As soon as you believe that you can not do better, then you have effectively trapped yourself in a prison of denial and negative self-conditioning.

You begin to overlook the little things that you instinctively and logically know are incompatible with you as a person. You begin making excuses for your partners bad behavior, you start alienating the people that care about you most, forcing them to hold back from telling you the truth or risk losing you completely.

You begin a pattern of self-sacrifice until you evenutally start to lose yourself as a person.

And all this is because, your fear of being alone, is greater than your drive to improve your own life and happiness.

This is why, if you ever want to have a happy life full of good meaningful relationships, you first need to learn to live to with yourself. So you can to ensure that you don’t unnecessarily endure the pain and torment of staying with the wrong person out of fear of being alone. You need to face that fear and learn to do the right thing by yourself.

Once you become self-sufficient and independent as a person, you will be able to take a pragmatic approach to the relationships in your life. You will have taken your first step to become a player. You will have the strength to walk away when you need to and you will stop investing your time in ‘bad relationship investments’ because you wholeheartedly believe that there is always something new and better around the corner.

Sentimentality is not a good enough reason to stay in a bad relationship and neither is pity but for many people these things are good enough reasons to stay, when they know deep down that they should leave.

You only get one shot at life and if you waste it in mediocrity and if everyday is not a gift, then there is no point to it at all and you are just doing the chore of life until Death gives you a retirement.

This is no way to live and yet for billions of people on the Earth, this is the stark reality of their lives.

Did you know that arranged marriages are still condoned and practiced in dozens of countries all around the world?

Isn’t it sad that in the West we actually have a choice of who we marry yet despite that, we often choose terrible matches. We do this because it’s convenient and we’re lonely and as a result the divorce rates are statistically lower in arranged marriages compared to modern “free choice” marriages.

Are we really that bad at choosing our own partners, that we would theoretically be better off if our parents chose them for us?

Become Independent, Become A Player

I staunchly believe that ‘arranged marriage’ is not the amicable solution to ensuring we live happy lives in positive relationships. I believe that the solution is that we first and foremost need to give ourselves as much experience with the opposite sex as possible, by flirting with them, by dating them, by seducing them.

In essence as a man, I believe that the path to us finding amazing life partners, is to put ourselves out there in the first place and date a large variety of beautiful women. And by doing so, we learn what works for us and what doesn’t and we begin to set ourselves standards on who we invest our precious time in.

This is why I have always followed the Way of the Player and this is why I have now found a beautiful girl who helps make every day a joyous day for me and you will too if you follow the advice offered on this website and become a Player.

If you are currently in a bad relationship or you are someone who continuously gets involved in bad relationships, then you are settling for less. It’s as simple as that.

There must of been a point in the relationship where something really bothered you and caused you a lot of upset but rather than walking when you should have, you kept beating that dead horse at great personal cost. You are not alone either.

Everyone has gone through some variation of this in their lives but for most of us, we don’t learn this valuable lesson until well after our best years have surpassed us.

Anyone in the 50’s plus dating scene will tell you what I am telling you now.

They have already spent their years on the wrong people and in their twilight wisdom they have decided that they are too old to waste time and they start searching for compatibility rather than pure sex appeal.

The fact of the matter is, just because a girl makes your Johnson harder than any other girl, that doesn’t mean that’s the girl you should be with. That is probably the girl that you should seduce and take to bed but once the party is finished, you move on and keep searching for the girl that appeals to your higher nature.

If you want to find Mrs Right and live happily ever after. If you want to become the envy of every other guy, then it will help A LOT if you become a Player first. Because it’s only when you become a Player that you will be able to date enough beautiful women to have the kind of standards where you can say, “I’m looking for more than just a pretty face”.

As Players in the game of seduction and love, it is vital to our success and overall happiness that we are able to feel confident and content with being alone sometimes because beautiful women want to be with men who don’t need them.

It’s very attractive to a woman when she can meet a man who is quite happy as he is and doesn’t rely on others to fill the empty void within himself. This type of man, is a rock. A strong independent male who loves with discrimination and doesn’t let anything compromise his standards.

This kind of man is a prize to be won and if you are this type of man, then beautiful women will strive to win your love and commitment and I want to emphasize that you should not confuse sex with love.

As strong confident independent alpha males, it is our prerogative to have sex with lots of beautiful women but sex is just sex, it is not necessarily a precursor to love. We save that very special feeling for the girl who is unlike any other, who makes us happy and adores us as much as we adore her and every day with them we find new reasons to love them and the party never ends.

This is the type of girl you should be with but you can only ever attract her if you first learn to love and live happily with yourself and sometimes that means spending some serious time alone, away from the comforts of your friends and family; finding and challenging yourself to do things that you never imagined yourself doing.

In my culture, we call this a ‘rite of passage’ and most often it takes the form of a long overseas trip. I did one such trip when I was 19 years old and during that trip I discovered the world of intelligent seduction and it changed my life forever.

You don’t have to go overseas for that to happen to you but you do need to challenge yourself to live independently of others so that you know deep down, that no matter what happens, you will be okay alone and you will not waste your time on people who don’t deserve it.

There is nothing more important to you than your own happiness but only you can make it happen and sometimes that means making some tough decisions and putting yourself completely out of your comfort zone. This is the one true path to your happiness, I guarantee it. It’s the same path that led me to experience a happiness and self-contentment that I never imagined possible. If I hadn’t decided to become a Player, then I never would have known any better.

And if I and millions of other men can become a Player, then so can you. But first, you need to make that decision, you need to say to yourself “I am going to become a Player or I will at least get laid a lot trying”

Don’t put it off any longer, don’t leave it for tomorrow. Start your journey to become a Player today, the sooner you decide to become a Player and commit to this dream, the sooner your life will start to get better.

By Kieran Black


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