5 tips to drastically improve your success.
By Damien Diecke
My students are often left stunned and amazed at how consistently I can walk from one woman to another, opening successfully every time; getting huge interest, really obvious and overt signals of attraction, a solid phone number and then leave to find my next target.
It appears to them as though I’m completely unstoppable, like I can have absolutely any woman I lay my eyes on..
I’d love it if that were the case, but really it’s not. The truth is, I am great with women, but no matter how good I become, no man can have every woman he approaches.
Today I’d like to uncover some of the secrets behind how I can so effortlessly glide from one beautiful woman to another and never seem to fail.
Do you know how a student could find a hole in my seemingly flawless success streak? They could pick the girls I approach for me.
Now this isn’t because I have beautiful women planted in every nightclub I’ve ever been to, trained to respond favorably to my approaches. This is because I’ve learned to spot the kind of woman I know I can approach and pick up. So every woman I bounce to is a perfect ‘Damien Fit’, and I know this because I know how to spot them. If a student were to start choosing for me, I’d still do pretty well but my record wouldn’t be nearly so close to perfect.
Today I want to give you a set of principals I give all my students to help you identify the most approachable women in any bar, nightclub, house party or office party. Following these simple principals will ensure you can increase your success rate without having to improve your game at all.
1. Spot beautiful women looking around the room.
These women should become your new favorites. When you see a group of 2 or 3 beautiful women in a nightclub, talking occasionally to each other, but also spending a great deal of time looking around the nightclub and not at each other, this is signaling a desire to find guys to talk to, they are actively on the prowl, go and approach before someone else does.
One word of caution: If it looks like they are looking intensely for a particular person, wait a moment, that particular person might just well be a boyfriend.
2.Spot the third wheel
This is my personal favorite as a coach. If I have a student who needs a good interaction then I look for one of these girls. A third wheel is any group of three people containing two girls and a guy where the guy is obviously dating or flirting with one girl and not the other.
No woman wants to feel like the third wheel, and no woman wants to feel like her friend is being hit on and she isn’t. Third wheels may not necessarily be single, or may not be interested in meeting anyone that night, but they will still be the most receptive to being opened. It’s quite hard to get an instant rejection from a third wheel.
3. Spot open groups
An ‘Open Group’ means a group of women sitting or standing in a open formation. This means that if they all looked straight ahead, many of them would be looking out into the crowd rather than at each other. A Closed group would be a group of women sitting or standing more or less in a circle.
When women leave themselves open, it often means that they are welcome to being approached. When they close themselves off, it sometimes means they don’t want to be approached.
HOWEVER this rule is a generalization as most women aren’t conscious of the open-closed group rule, and form these groups sub-consciously. Due to this sub-conscious group forming pattern, open groups are almost always more approachable than closed groups.
4. Spot women already having fun.
When you’re nervous and feeling a little bit ‘low energy’, it’s always tempting to try and find the quietest looking women you possibly can.
While matching a woman’s energy levels is an important part of building a connection, it’s important not to put ‘having fun’ and ‘high energy’ in the same basket.
High energy – A group of women dancing, talking loudly and gesticulating wildly at each other
Having fun – A group of women standing or sitting together, smiling a lot, maybe laughing, and looking like they’re in a talkative good mood
So why is this such an important indicator? Have you ever approached a group of beautiful women who weren’t in a very talkative fun mood yet? How hard was it to get them engaged in conversation? How much work and energy did you have to pour into them to get them to loosen up?
The reality is that beautiful women who are already in a talkative mood, already feeling happy and positive are going to be far easier to build a connection and make small talk with, when you initially engage them. Why pick women that will make your life more difficult than it needs to be?
5. Groups of three are your friend
Most guys who do courses with me and come out on their first night are eager to find women on their own to talk to; they have the false assumption that women on their own will be the easiest to engage.
This is a false belief for many reasons, primarily the fact that beautiful women rarely go out on their own and go to the bathroom together when out with other women, so beautiful women on their own are often with a man who has gone to the bathroom. Another reason is, beautiful women on their own feel very vulnerable and insecure. That means that they can at times be prickly on the first approach.
Groups of two can be difficult for other reasons. Primarily because you can’t easily ignore one girl and expect your target to let her friend become bored, so you have to entertain both at once. This is certainly possible, but especially for beginners, this is a lot more work than necessary.
Groups of three on the other hand are the perfect number. Why? Because you can approach your target and leave the other two to entertain themselves. You can then isolate her, or simply spend a good 20 minutes building a connection without having to worry about entertaining the whole group, or worry about a bored friend trying to pull your target girl away.
Simply follow the above guidelines and you will quickly realize how much easier your interactions can be with a bit of tweaking, especially when it comes to approaching the right girls in the first place.