The Players guide to backpacking Part 2.
How to pick up on holiday
Choosing the right places to stay.
When traveling to foreign destinations you are always going to be bombarded with a variety of options for accommodation and without having been to a place previously you can really never be sure what you are booking yourself into.
Many a naive backpacker has arrived at an airport only to be swindled by smiling taxi drivers who promise you the best place to stay only to take you to the biggest dump in Bangalore (half the time their family owns this dump).
To avoid being led astray by these airport sharks it pays to do a bit of research first and make sure you find somewhere nice without six legged room-mates. It is also worthwhile booking your accommodation on the internet because you know that the competition drives up the standard and lowers the price; this way you are guaranteed a warm bed to sleep in at the proper rate (some hotels charge you more if you don’t book over the net)
The accommodation that you choose will majorly effect the way your trip goes from arrival at the airport, if you pick a really expensive snobby hotel then chances are you wont meet anyone, if you choose the bottom of the range hostels, chances are you wont get any sleep, will get your stuff stolen, get ripped off by the staff or even end up sleeping in dorms with drug addicts and smelly homeless people.
What you really want to aim for as a young man is the middle of the range hostels with a bar or large communal area or for an older and wealthier man, any hotel with a nice bar and swimming pool, these are the types of accommodation wherein you are most likely to meet new people and make new friends.
The best way to find the best accommodation is to go to sites like hostelworld.com for hostels or agoda.com for hotels, as these sites rank the accommodation through a rating and review system and offer cheaper alternatives that wouldn’t otherwise be available.
Picking up in a hostel.
The best way to ensure that you meet new people when you travel, is to travel alone and stay in youth hostels.
People are a lot less intimidated by a lone traveler as they are by a group of travelers, if you really want to make new friends and have a travel adventure then you are better off leaving your friends behind and setting out to proactively form new friendship groups whilst on the move, this independence will certainly heighten your travel experience and for many it is on solo trips such as these that they get a unique opportunity to really get to know themselves.
Making the approach.
When staying in foreign hostels, approaching beautiful women becomes very easy because you already have the perfect genuine opener, ‘Hello, where are you from?’
This one line will get you easily chatting with any girl you set your eye on and it doesn’t even require big balls or amazing confidence, you just need to be curious enough about them and their countries to ask the right questions, everyone is already in travel mode and they are there to have a good time; even if they are complete assholes in their native countries they are going to be the funnest versions of themselves whilst on holiday.
Breaking the ice.
Naturally when dealing with people from foreign countries with foreign customs there will always be some cultural barriers you will need to overcome before you can make friends, the best way to do this is to find some common ground like sport, movies, interest in girls etc. and build on it from there.
When dealing with people you have just met from other countries it is generally wise to avoid making jokes about their country until you get to know them better because most countries have their own sense of humor and without knowing you first they might not understand your jokes and take offence and in a fast paced social environment where people are quick to make judgements it is unlikely you will have another opportunity to redeem yourself.
Imagine starting high school for the first time every week, this is what it is like to be a backpacker on the move, however whether you are one of the geeks or a cool kid, all depends on your ability to make new friends and that is why it doesn’t hurt to have an edge that the other kids don’t.
A good way to break into pre-existing friendship groups or form your own, is to have some memorized travel games to share with your new potential friends.
The most popular travel games tend to involve drinking and are most likely to draw other people into the activity (as opposed to non drinking), it also gets everyone to drop their guard substantially and if you are the master of the game then you get to feel like a pretty cool guy.
The best and most popular drinking game for young travelers wanting to make new friends is definitely Kings Cup, it is fun and entertaining and allows everyone to get really drunk really quickly, it is definitely worth bringing a few packs of cards with you on your trip because you will always be meeting people from all corners of the world with their own ideas for games to play.
The common areas or bars at a hostel are always the best places to mingle with strangers because everyone is there for that very reason, if they wanted to be isolated then they would have just stayed in their rooms.
Alcohol is always the best social lubricant and the easiest common ground to find with strangers, if you want to pick up travelers then you will need to be prepared to get your own party started or join in with the other groups and it certainly doesn’t hurt to have an enjoyable vice to share.
Staying in your element.
It can be so much easier to pick up on holiday when compared to back home but you have you play it right.
When staying in hostels it is important to remember to always keep moving, never spend more than a week in the same accommodation, you might find yourself in relationships which you didn’t bank on with girls that you can never realistically be with.
You will also find that as people leave and new ones arrive you begin to feel detached from the new arrivals and find it more difficult to make new friends because the initial hype and excitement of finding a new place has left you and you have become too comfortable.
Finding good places for sex.
For many young travelers staying in hostels, it can often be quite challenging once you have picked up a fellow traveler girl to find a place to consummate your brief no strings attached relationship.
With most hostel accommodation being in the form of shared dorms and private rooms being just as, if not, more expensive than most middle range hotel accommodation, quite often you are left with nowhere to take your special date and enjoy the fruits of your labour.
This is where you need to be creative.
The best option is always a bed but unless you are visiting in off season chances are in a decent hostel you will have other people sharing the room with you, so what are you going to do, have sex with a room full of people watching? Well maybe, if you’re into that kind of thing but there is a another way for those of us with inhibitions.
When going into a new room you are always better off choosing the bottom bunk if you have the option and there are three very good reasons why.
1. The Dutch curtain
This is a very useful trick for sex in hostel rooms and it is crucial to maintaining your privacy whilst doing the deed with your new temporary girlfriend.
It is called ‘the Dutch curtain’ and involves taking one or two of the sheets off your bed, tucking the sides under the mattress above your bunk and creating a curtain of isolation for you and your girl.
The Dutch curtain allows you to have the semblance of privacy and will help you put your girl at ease, it will also ward off other travelers.
‘Hey Bjorn, looks like Jarpi is getting it on with that slutty Welsh girl’
‘What makes you think that?’
‘Look, he has a Dutch curtain around his bunk’
‘Oh, well lets come back in half an hour so we don’t have to listen to them’
This is why you want to take the bottom bunk, the top bunk is simply not Dutch curtain compatible.
Low center of gravity.
The higher the bunk the more likely it is to sway and disturb other sleepers below by rocking back and forth and the less noise it is likely to make from creaking and rattling while you’re going at it up above, not to mention the only thing worse than an awkward walk of shame for her, is climbing down a step ladder being watched by a room full of people while you pretend to be sleeping in your own love-juice.
By taking a low bunk you are also putting yourself within reaching distance of your backpack and subsequently items you might use during sex like condoms, lubricant, a towel, pet gerbil.
Overall the less attention you draw to yourself and the less obnoxious your lovemaking sounds the less likely you are to piss off your bunk mates and get kicked out of your hostel for being an awesome sex machine.
Easier to get a girl into
If a girl is a bit reluctant to get busy with you, you are going to have a tough time getting her to climb up to your bunk for sex, it is simple logistics, the lower the bed the easier it is to get her to sit/lay on it, all she has to do is bend her knees not climb a dodgy step ladder.
If you can get a girl sitting on your bed with you then you are doing pretty well and you are in a prime position to make a move, offer to show her some photos of your friends, family, past travels etc. and sit down on your bed, she will sit down next to you, it’s a natural progression.
If you are on the top bunk trying to pull the same move you will have an awkward time getting her up there because it will feel too sleazy and obvious and such feelings are not helpful to your seduction.
If the bed of your hostel dorm is not an available option then there are still some other options in the hostel you might consider such as…
The shower is usually a pretty good option because you know you won’t be disturbed, they are open all hours of the night and the running water will help drown out the sounds of your love making.
The television room
Many hostels keep the television room open all night, occasionally they allow the impoverished backpacker to stay in their for a late flight or just for the night because they can’t afford a room, however if it is after 3am and it is open and empty then chances are you wont be disturbed.
The best sex position to have her in is the ‘reverse cowboy’ (see ”The top 5 sex positions for making her orgasm“) because if someone comes in unexpectedly you can both make a quick recovery, it also doesn’t hurt to prop a beanbag or cushion up against the door to buy you a few seconds.
Some hostels will have additional options like hot tubs, swimming pools, empty unlocked rooms but where-ever you go just remember to keep it relatively safe and legal, be very careful humping in dangerous locations or places like the beach where tourists regularly get robbed and/or arrested (in some countries it’s a jail-able offense) and make sure the juice is worth the squeeze, no point spending the night in jail for Miss Piggy.
Picking up the locals.
You are in a foreign country most likely for the first and last time, no one knows you and you will never meet any of the people around you again unless you really want too. This is the perfect time and place to risk making a fool of yourself because unlike the school, college or workplace of your home town, in these distant intriguing lands you wont be held socially accountable for your actions in the long term and as long as it is within the confines of the law you can feel free to do and be whomever you want.
If you embrace the idea of this social freedom then you could easily say that being out of your element is the best way to be in it, meaning, you have a great social advantage being a stranger in a new city it is just a matter of using your foreign guile to it’s utmost potential.
How to approach.
When approaching a local girl in a foreign city it pays to make it clear to them straight off the mark that you are a foreigner and not native to the area, this will alleviate a lot the stress one often feels when being randomly approached by a stranger. The first thing someone wonders when being approached by a stranger is whether they know you or not, the second is, are you trying to sell me something?
Don’t say to them,“Hi, you don’t know me…” or “Hi, I’m not trying to sell you anything…” because that is usually something someone says just before they guilt a passing stranger into donating their hard earned dollars towards saving the rare Guatemalan howler monkey from being spanked by sadistic Russian trainers at Siberia national zoo.
The best thing to say when confronting a stranger in a new city is ‘Hi, I’m not from around here…(or some variation)‘ followed by asking them a question which prompts more than a curt reply such as, ‘do you know anywhere good to go out around here, where do you and your friends normally go?‘ you can always be more direct and say something along the lines of ‘I saw you walking by and I think you’re the prettiest girl in Middlefart (actual town in Denmark) can I take you out for a drink?’
From the cumulative experiences of our well traveled players, the general consensus is that direct approach works better in Non-English speaking countries where understanding is limited and excessive idle conversation (smalltalk) tends to confuse one or both parties and in many cases it makes a sexual relationship between a pair appear more difficult and absurd than it could have been had a more pragmatic and direct approach been taken in the first place.
In English speaking countries however, our players have found that a direct approach is no-where near as effective as non English because other English speakers share similar wooing practices and traditions and have a common standard to hold you too.
I.e. In non English speaking countries you might get away with saying ‘you’re very pretty I would very much like to be inside of you tonight’ because most limited English speakers would only understand a fraction of what you are saying and if you say it in the right way, they are most likely to give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume you said something charming, however if you were to say the same thing to a native English speaker you would most likely get a very different reaction.
In English speaking countries you will still need to be genuinely charming in your approach and if you learn to play the ‘lost tourist’ with enough confidence you might find a lot of women finding it cute and wanting to help you and even ‘show you around’ which is the best kind of date because most of the time these tours wrap up in the bedroom; beautiful women don’t waste their entire day or night showing a strange gentlemen the delights of their city unless they are somewhat inclined to sharing bodily fluids also.
Best places to go.
When you’re in a new town and you don’t know the nightspots it’s generally worthwhile to ask someone in the know, such as a clerk at a hostel or even better the first uber hot local girl you see walking down the street, if you ask her where she normally go’s out, chances are she isn’t the only hot girl who goes there and you should get a good idea of where the action is so you don’t end up walking into any navy or skinhead bars and getting your teeth knocked out.
If you’re unsure of the places being recommended to you and want to take the safe option, then your best bet in a new city is to look for the most central city Irish pub and go in and down yourself a few pints of Guinness. From Bangkok to Bangalore you will always find Irish pubs if you look for them, they are Ireland’s biggest export! And they are so successful for one particular reason; they are always traveler friendly and a guaranteed piss-up, they also attract a wide variety of young men and beautiful women looking for lively nightlife.
If you’re not a claustrophobic then you can never go wrong with a music or cultural festival, just make sure you’re in with the scene i.e. if you’re a hardcore goth you’re probably not going to feel in your element at a Lil Wayne concert. Everyone is normally a special kind of loose at festivals and cute girls give out their numbers like 80′s rock stars give out herpes, you just need to get yourself into the local jive and once again, make sure they know you’re a foreigner, a really awesome and easy way to open cute foreigners is to say something along the lines of ‘Wow they never have concerts/festivals like this in my country”, don’t tell them straight up which country because not telling them is more likely to lead to a conversation.
If you’re committed to getting the most out of your backpacking trip then you should be taking every opportunity you can to meet knew girls, without the inhibitions and responsibilities of home life you should be acting like the suavest most confident version of yourself on crack, if you see a cute girl that tightens your pants and you know there’s only a 1,000,000 in 1 chance of ever seeing this babe again so what do you have to lose? You’d be crazy not to try.
Use your accent to it’s full potential.
You know that sexy exotic stereotype you’ve seen in real life or on TV who sweet talks all the beautiful women into bed with a silver tongue?
Well when you’re in a foreign country and talking to a cute girl, that guy can easily be you, you just need to embrace it and play the part. Women love mystery and intrigue, they crave the raw excitement in something new and different, you might just be your run-of-the-mill Joe back home but in another country you are the adventurous and exotic José the intrepid unattainable traveler from a distant land ready to deliver passion, romance and excitement to a lucky female recipient.
For many modern women travelling men are ideal targets for sexual encounters, they can have no strings attached sex with someone fun and unattached and the expiry date on the relationship prevents anyone getting hurt (supposedly), this is why when a woman hears a foreign accent they are especially intrigued and initially more interested than they would be otherwise.
Although it is important to try and fit in with other cultures so as not to appear arrogant it is also very beneficial to stand out from the crowd and this is where using your accent comes in most useful, in some cases it doesn’t hurt to even ‘put it on’ a bit more than usually to attract the right kind of attention, however. You should be aware that if certain countries hold generally hold certain prejudices towards certain groups then you may unintentionally allow them to pigeon hole you before they have even gotten to know you.
For instance, a Mexican accent might not work so well in the USA as there are already lots of Mexicans and many are prejudiced against them, however a Mexican accent being used in somewhere like Britain would be received completely differently simply because it is very rare and therefore exotic, however an Irish accent in Britain is nothing special. Unless you are a very talented actor you are stuck with your accent so it is beneficial to be aware of the effects it can have on certain people and cultures and generally you will get laid a lot more if you get off the beaten track and visit places where you are a rare and intriguing commodity.
Overall your trip hould really be about the adventure and not just picking up chicks because if that is your sole focus you’re not going to get the most out of your trip. Picking up hot foreign girls is a bi-product of travel it always has been and always will be but that being said it is incredibly disappointing to go overseas and be surrounded by hot foreign candy but not get to taste any so you will want to make sure your mojo is on track before you go out and spend your half of your drinking money on prophylactics that will never see the light of day.
Also stay away from guest houses, they might seem cute, quaint and affordable but nine times out of ten you will feel like you have no privacy and there will be some 64 year old Albanian lady knocking on the door at 10pm at night shouting ‘no sexy in room!’ while you’re trying to get your freak on.
Keep it real when it comes to making new friends in other countries, the sad truth is, it’s very rare for someone to keep in contact with a lot of the ‘temp friends’ they make whilst on holiday, even with innovations such as Skype and Facebook it’s hard to maintain a friendship without actually seeing the person you are friends with, so don’t feel disheartened when your temp friends seem distant or uninterested just remember the good times and start planning your next overseas backpacking trip before you’re too old and responsible to do it again!