Have you ever asked yourself how much do I really know about women’s underwear?
It’s not exactly the type of question most well adjusted men would ask themselves often but obviously if you’re reading this now then you must be just a bit curious.
As hetero men we enjoy looking at beautiful women in underwear in ads, we enjoy seeing those same beautiful women without underwear in mags but even more we enjoy taking those underwear off ourselves and seeing what lays beneath.
Apart from our own personal experiences, most men really don’t know a lot about the undergarmets of women, so when it comes to buying them, many men really wouldn’t have the slightest idea where to start.
Fortunately We at Way of the Player have done the research for you and we have come up with this article to help you make the right purchase.
To start with it is important to understand that lingerie and underwear are not necessarily the same thing, but rather, lingerie is a subclass of underwear. If you call a girls expensive lingerie underwear then there is a good chance she might get offended that you don’t know the difference and feel like she went to all the effort of putting it on for nothing.
Underwear is designed to be practical and comfortable, it is what you hope your mother and grandmother wear under their normal clothes because you really wouldn’t want to picture them in the kind of thing the girls in Hustler magazine wear.
Just took you to a weird place then didn’t we?
The truth is, there is nothing particuarly exciting about most of the underwear that girls wear and we rarely ever see their day to day granny undies because putting on sexy lingerie for their man’s enjoyment is just one of the many wonderful little things that women do to appear so sexy and beautiful all the time, except perhaps for many mornings after a big night when their smudged mascara makes them look like sleepy badgers.
Discussing how lingerie is primarily worn for the enjoyment of men leads us to another little useful fact; if you happen to go out for a night on the town and you get a glimpse of a girls underwear that you are keen on, then you should be able get a good grasp of how the night ahead of you is going to go down.
If she is wearing sexy lingerie under her bottoms then you can bet your pennies that she is hoping to get a little action tonight, maybe with a stud like you. However, if you happen to catch a glimpse of some of those ugly beige knickers that old ladies in Salvation army stores wear, then your chances are pretty slim because she is either on her period or for some other reason that we probably don’t want to know about, she has closed up shop for tonight. (The same rule applies to shaven and unshaven legs)
Lingerie is designed to be visually appealing, it is much like an expensive suit. You wouldn’t wear your best suit jogging now would you? Just like you wouldn’t want to wear it if you happened to be bleeding heavily for some particular reason.
Lingerie is supposed to excentuate all the sexy areas of the body, the breasts, the curves of the hips, the bum, the long volumptuous legs and of course hidden away in a nice little triangle between the thighs, the love inspiring, baby making, penis pleasuring centre of a woman’s sexuality, the pussy.
Women are naturally visually exciting enough as it is in their natural state, men can never get enough of looking upon them, every single woman is a bit different in some tiny way and although when it comes down to it they’re all pretty similar naked, every time we get the chance to see a new one the excitement we feel is akin to discovering some magical Aztec artifact in a lost Amazonian temple.
When we gaze upon the naked form of a beautiful woman it is near impossible not to feel arousal (unless you prefer naked men) but being the innovative species we are, naturally we found a way to gift wrap them and that is what lingerie essentially is, gift wrapping for sexy time.
In order to know what to buy, the most important thing is to know what it is that you’re actually getting, this way you won’t look like a hopeless horny idiot when you are trying to explain to the hot babe at the lingerie store exactly what it is you are trying to purchase.
We have therefore listed for you below all the types of lingerie you will need to know if you want to make a successful purchase.
Baby doll lingerie is usually somewhere between a Camisole and a chemises (loose girly singlet skirt), it finishes around the hips but fluffs out from the breasts downwards, they are often see through and sometimes split down the middle like a petticoat, they don’t leave a lot up to the imagination, which is awesome.
Boyshorts (French Knickers)
Don’t let the name fool you, boyshorts are not made for boys to wear (well not hetero one’s anyway).
Boyshorts or otherwise known as French Knickers are pretty much extra short boxer shorts. They are often see through with knitted patterns throughout and a little bow at the front. They pretty much make her pussy look like it has been gift wrapped. Not bad at all.
French knickers are actually a pretty safe type of lingerie to buy for girls, as they are generally considered to be classy and sexy, most girls will own at least one pair of these.
Bustier’s look like a cross between the Camisole and a corset. They usually come with matching panties and stockings and hug the owners frame. These are only good for women with tight firm bodies otherwise it could very well resemble an angry python strangling a hippo.
A camisole is pretty much a nicely decorated girls singlet that ends at their waste, it is often worn with sexy matching knickers beneath a nightgown or kimono, camisoles aren’t the most adventurous of lingerie pieces so they are more for the conservative girl.
Not to be confused with chemosis an unpleasant medical condition which causes swelling and discloration of your eyeball. Chemises are like short nightgowns (or long camisoles) which finish around the thighs, it is usually see through and very erotic, this would be the perfect gift for making a girl feel cute and sexy.
Corsets have been around for a very very long time and they still serve the same purpose they served in the 16th century, binding the female figure into a more feminem and attractive shape.
Although corsets are usually reserved for the bedrooms nowadays some girls still like to wear these in public because it makes their breasts look perky and lets face it they look pretty damn hot.
A corset is a good gift to buy a girl you are just starting to get intimate with because you can get away with being a little bit off with the size (so they wont throttle you if you get it wrong).
Garter belts are an especially slutty piece of lingerie, they were extremely popular in 70’s pornos and are still going strong today.
They usually come in a set with stockings, bra and knickers and they are usually attached to other items of lingerie through a series of light straps, forming a latticework of lingerie over her sexy female form.
The straps are usually longer than six inches from the waste to the stockings and need to be undone carefully before the action begins as they are really easy to break and expensive to replace. A garter belt is the kind of item you would buy for a girl who was especially kinky and open minded as they require quite a bit of confidence to pull off right.
The Kimono is actually a traditional Japanese garb worn by the whole family, however Western society have also adapted it to be a very sexy slutty piece of lingerie.
Lingerie Kimonos are usually made of silk or satin and often finish around the thighs. They can be worn loosely to vaguely cover lingerie beneath or, they can be worn with nothing else at all! Either way they are awesome presents to get girls because like the corset you can get away with being a bit off with the size and they wont think you’re really sleazy.
If you have seen the movie Borat, you have no doubt seen Sascha Cohen sporting his green ‘teddy’ so you probably have a good idea of how these one-piece bathing suits look in action. Although, we guarantee they look a lot better on beautiful women.
Teddy’s only really work well with curvy attractive women because they really accentuate the hips and breasts (so it helps if you have something to accentuate).
Back in high school this is what all the popular girls wore to make horny teenage guys go nuts, many older girls still wear them, although like most pieces of lingerie they are not incredibly comfortable (imagine walking around with a permanent wedgie all day) but we’re not the one’s wearing them so we can just enjoy the show.
The best thing about thongs is that when you do pick up a girl wearing one of these you don’t even need to bother removing them if you are in a rush, they are so lightweight and flimsy you can just pull them to one side and go for gold, although make sure you wear a condom because thong wearing girls arent particuarly well known for their chastity.
If you are considering buying one of these for a girl, make sure she is the type of girl who usually wears them because if you get girls who don’t wear them a present like this, they will most likely think you are a massive sleaze who only dates strippers and pornstars (not that there’s anything wrong with that)
Except for a few possible exceptions such as the Kimono and the corset, when planning to buy lingerie the most important thing is to get the size right.
Not only are most of these items ‘non-refundable’ for obvious reasons but if you get girls a size to small then they will think that they are too fat and if you get girls a size too big then they will think that you think they are fat, so to ensure the you get the desired response from these ladies, make completely sure you get girls the right size.
Now there are three ways of doing this, you can either…
1. pull out a measuring tape whilst she’s sleeping and take her measurements yourself (a bit creepy).
2. Take her with you to the lingerie store and let her pick out whichever one she likes, this isn’t such a bad option but it will ruin the surprise for her and therefore your chances of turning that ‘joyful surprise’ into ‘joyful sex’.
3. you can take a look through her underwear drawer while she’s not looking and jot down some measurements. Try not to get caught doing this because no matter what explanation you give her, you will probably wind up looking like a pervert.
Once you have the size right and you know what it is you want to get her just take a trip down to your local lingerie store, the more boutique the better because if she has half a brain she will be able to tell the difference between Victoria’s Secret and Kmart’s secret and you won’t getting much love if she thinks you’re a cheapskate.