I’m going to tell you in the simplest terms how you can have great conversations with beautiful women almost every time you make an approach.
If you are anything like most of the men who have come to me for help with this, then you’re probably not the best natural conversationalist going around. You might be fine talking among your friends and with people you know but when it comes to talking to girls you haven’t met before, you struggle to make a connection.
Most guys aren’t able to have fun, productive, intimate conversations with every person they meet. We are programmed to fear strangers to a certain degree and it is only by pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones and approaching and conversing with strangers, that we can get more experience and become more comfortable.
Knute Rockne is an American Footballer who was famous (among other things) for the quote “Build your weaknesses until they become your strengths.” If you consider your inability to have good conversations to be a weakness, then work on making this a strength. It’s totally possible to not only get better at this, you could also actually become better than anyone you know. You set the benchmark for yourself.
However, it’s not enough to just know that ‘you need more experience to get better’, it helps if you actually know the things that you specifically need to work on and that’s what I’m going to give you now.
Conversation Tip 1: Be Receptive
A lot of guys will sit down with a woman and have a discussion with her without actually hearing a thing that she’s saying.
Have you ever just met a girl and started talking to her only to instantly forget what her name was?
Unless you have some kind of super memory or you have taught yourself to remember everyone’s name you meet; chances are this has happened to you. And you’re not alone. Most people are ‘bad with names’, it’s not normal to be able to remember the name of every single person that we meet and it takes a lot of mental effort; so we prioritize different names depending on how important we think they are.
Sometimes we approach a girl and we expect to get rejected, so chances are we are not going to put a lot of effort into remembering a girls name who we expect to reject us or not be interested. So we don’t bother. But then, to your surprise, this girl seems suddenly interested in you and now you are stuck in the awkward situation of not knowing her name.
When you meet a girl for the first time, she wants to feel special. She wants to feel like she is important enough for you to listen to her and one of the biggest ways you can fail the ‘listening test’ is by forgetting a girls name. Make an effort to remember every girls name you are given.
It doesn’t matter if she forgets your name. Girls often need to be ‘won over’ before they take interest in a guy and half the time they don’t even know what they want. That’s what being a Player is all about, being charming and confident enough to lead them into flirting with you, and then dating or going home with you.
Listening is a skill just like any other; and it’s not the same as hearing. You can everything someone says but that doesn’t mean that you are receptive to it and it certainly doesn’t mean you will remember it.
Women are constantly testing guys during a conversation to see if they were listening. They don’t always do it consciously either, most of the time it’s very subtle. If a guy asks them the same question twice or misses out an important conversational cue and goes on to talk about himself. You can give yourself away without even realizing it and this is very unattractive to women.
When a woman is talking to you and sharing information about herself, her experiences and her interests; she expects you to be present in the moment and she doesn’t want to waste time on a guy who is only interested in her for her looks and couldn’t care less for her opinion.
Sure. There are some girls with low self esteems who will take home guys regardless, but is that really the kind of woman that you want… A girl that ANY guy can have? Or do you want the kind of girls who have standards and confidence and will make you work, but then she will make it all worthwhile.
Conversation Tip 2: You Have Nothing To Prove
A lot of guys feel like they need to drop hints to women about how awesome they are. They try to impress them with ‘the facts’, the superficial things that they think women value. So they talk about their cars, their jobs, how much time they spend in the gym or all the great parties they get invited to. They get so consumed with trying to sell themselves, they just end up talking about themselves and girls get bored.
Women love to talk.
According to a recent study by prominent female psychiatrist Dr Luan Brizendine; women talk on average around three times as much as men do. They also devote more of their brain-cells to thinking about talking.
So with that in mind. Why are you stressing about trying to think of things to say…? When the women you are talking to are all to happy to do most of the talking for you?
You don’t need to prove anything to the beautiful women you are having conversations with; at least not in the way you might think.
You will prove a lot more by being confident, self assured, charming, a good listener, than you will by telling her all about your numerous achievements like you are trying to get a scholarship out of her. Women don’t care about those things anywhere near as much as men think they do.
Sure they might help in the long run. If they are looking to settle down and get married, then maybe your Law Degree and your six figure salary will seem pretty attractive. But it actually doesn’t mean sh!t if they think that you are a self-obsessed ass and can’t stand to be around you.
When you meet a girl for the first time, she doesn’t need to know anything factual about you. All she needs to know is that you are confident enough to have a conversation with her without feeling the need to prove yourself. Players don’t need to impress anyone. They are happy and fulfilled within themselves and this makes them sturdy characters that other people feel compelled to gravitate around.
Conversation Tip 3: Be Masculine
Don’t fall into the trap of acting like a woman in order to hold a conversation with a woman. If you need to sacrifice your masculinity to feel a connection, then it’s not worth it because that connection is unlikely to become a sexual one and even if it does, you will forever be stuck with that first unmanly impression.
You want to a good listener and an enigmatic, charming conversationalist but you don’t to be like a chatty woman. That means, you should avoid behaviors like gossiping, bitchiness or talking about who’s hot and who’s not in Hollywoodfab Weekly; these are not manly subjects and even though you are talking with a woman, you don’t want to be talking like a woman.
That doesn’t mean you should start talking about football or farts either; find some middle ground with her. Be interested in her hobbies and interests but be genuine about it. If she’s a ballerina, don’t tell her that you always wanted to do ballet but you thought society looked down on male dancers (unless that’s the truth); instead, you could ask her what she likes about it, or whether she has any dreams. You can be inquisitive and interested in her, without trying to be someone else to please her.
Women want men. They want men who embrace their manliness rather than feel ashamed of it. They find masculinity attractive for the same reasons we find femininity attractive. If all girls started playing video games, farting in bed, scratching themselves in public and grinding up behind men on the dance floor. Then it might seem awesome in some ways, but mainly it would feel weird and unattractive. It’s no different for men who act like women.
Conversation Tip 4: Be Adventurous
There is a thin line between being hilariously funny and going too far.
Some people are experts at treading this line and the closer you can get without going too far, generally, the more entertaining you are.
See the example below.
Being adventurous in conversation can be very risky, but you will never get better at sensing peoples boundaries and entertaining them if you are always playing it safe.
Be adventurous in your conversations with women. Offend a few by mistake and learn from the experience, next time you will be just that little bit better and the more adventurous conversations you have with women the better you will get at picking their type.
Another really good reason to be adventurous in your conversation, is that it’s fun. And if you are having fun in your conversations you are going to enjoy them more and it will be easier to talk yourself in to approaching beautiful women in the first place if you are able to get some fun out of each experience.
You don’t have to be as funny as Russel Brand, you just need to work on being adventurous enough to be interesting and different, be a little crazy here and there, you only live once.
If you can get yourself in a state of mind where having a conversations with beautiful women is always a fun and rewarding experience no matter what the result. Then you will amaze yourself at how good you get at conversations with women.
Don’t wait until you are out to test this out. Call up someone now and practice the points listed above and I guarantee you will notice an immediate difference.
By Kieran Black[social_share\]