The sex drive is the primal driving force of mankind. It’s a physiological energy that is particularly strong in men. Putting things in perspective, you and I would not be alive if it weren’t for our fathers’ sex drives, would we? If we can become more aware of what causes our sex drive and sexual energy, we can learn ways to enhance it and use it more effectively in every day life.
Whether it be for the purposes of seeking out more sex, or converting that sexual energy into other forms of constructive energy, it is something that all males can find within themselves. Think of those two words “sex” and “drive”, you are driven towards sex. Every male has a sex drive.
The primary male sex hormone is testosterone, an anabolic steroid. Anabolism is the metabolic process of construction, it takes the molecules in our bodies and builds more complex molecules. As an extreme case, think of elite bodybuilders, they inject themselves with anabolic compounds and eat a ridiculous quantity of food to build muscular physiques, these men are driven to work harder, recover more quickly.
In contrast to testosterone, is the primary female sex hormone, estrogen, which is catabolic. Catabolism is the metabolic process of destruction. Although “destruction” has a negative connotation, it is not a negative process by any means, catabolic processes are what break down molecules in our bodies to give us energy. Catabolic processes are normal and absolutely essential. Perhaps a better way to describe catabolism is as a metabolic recycler.
So where anabolism requires energy to occur, catabolism results in releasing energy from what already exists. What this means is, that as men, we use our energy to create opportunities, this is the male sex drive. Women, on the other hand, are naturally waiting for opportunities from an external source to be inspired by, this is the female sex drive.
Female or male, if you’re not sleeping enough, you won’t function normally. Sleep is a requirement for keeping hormone levels optimal. Ideally you want between 6 and 10 hours of sleep per night. It has been shown that sleeping for 5 hours or less per night can decrease testosterone levels in males by 10 to 15 percent. What this means is, if you know you’re going out the following day or night, get a good night’s sleep if you want your sex drive to be optimal.
Another way to keep your sex drive optimal is by having a good diet. Testosterone is made from fat, specifically cholesterol. I’m not saying go out and eat 5kg of bacon to get horny but what I am saying is that if you have a low-fat diet, you are doing yourself a disservice. A low fat diet is never a good option for a man. Getting your diet right is a balancing act. In my experience I always feel better when I am eating excess calories. The flip-side to this is that I gain body fat when I eat excess calories.
If you’re lifting weights a lot of that fat gain is mitigated and you’ll also gain more lean muscle mass. If you’re not lifting weights, then you’re missing out! I’m not talking about bicep curls here, I’m talking heavy compound movements like deadlifts, bench press, military press and squats. You should be doing these exercises at least once a week, balls to the wall. If you’re not feeling light-headed afterwards then you do not truly know what heightened testosterone levels feel like.
I feel absolutely amazing after deadlifting 2-3 times my bodyweight till failure. During the lifts I feel like I am about to shit a brick but afterwards I feel light-headed and euphoric, ready to take on the world. Make sure you get yourself some wrist straps so you can deadlift ridiculous amounts of weight without your grip giving way. With squats, I go deep and when I’m finished I feel a spring in my step. The problem with elevating your testosterone levels like this is that the temptation is to go straight home and beat off to porn.
In today’s modern world there are a number of distractions that transform our sexual energy into something else. Internet porn makes it extremely easy for any man to sit at home and get sexual gratification from unrealistically attractive women. A lot of guys will sit at home with their pants around their ankles jerking off to fifty different vaginas and then wonder why their sex drive is low.
If you are in the habit of masturbating to porn, you need to think of a way to reduce this habit. Have a porn strategy. For some, their strategy might be watching porn only once per week, for example Wednesday night is porn night. For others it might be only watching porn within 3 hours of having sex with a real woman. My strategy is to enter a pact with other male friends to not watch porn at all, to keep each other honest, I find that if I make myself responsible or accountable to others that I feel obligated to succeed.
You also need to dissociate porn from both physical and mental masturbation. What I mean by this is that a lot of guys can only get hard if they masturbate to porn. If they’re lying on their backs, they can’t get hard anymore by using their imagination. They lose the ability to fantasise. A great way to motivate yourself to approach a woman is to fantasise about her in your head and get the blood flowing to your penis. If you’ve lost this skill due to excessive porn watching then you’re missing out on your most powerful asset.
Once you’ve dissociated from porn, you need to associate real beautiful women with sex. I am literally telling you to objectify women. If you’ve given up porn and masturbation you’ll probably notice that you are doing double takes on women who you previously considered average looking. Keep doing that but when you see a woman who you find attractive, think of how she looks naked, fantasise about having sex with her right then and there. What we are doing is associating real women with sex.
Be aware that as a male, you are sexually driven. Don’t be ashamed of this, harness it, be proud of it. Use the gift of male sex drive to seek opportunities in not only your sex life, but also in your career and in the things you enjoy doing. Eat plenty of food and have an adequate fat intake. Get 6 to 10 hours of sleep per night. Do heavy compound weight lifting. Dissociate porn from masturbation and associate real women with sex.