As many of you would know, I used to post on here quite a bit. I pretty much used this website as a digital diary for me to record many of my experiences and ideas in the hope that it would help other guys and also allow me to further solidify my own game.
It has been an incredible personal journey for me since I first came to Way of the Player. I have changed more in that time than I ever thought possible. I have fought personal demon after demon and I have triumphed. I have fallen down more times than I could count but I have gotten back up again every time, and now I am just getting used to contentment, which is actually harder than I thought it would be.
There is this idea that we all have that once we get everything we want, that our lives will be bliss. So we work hard, and we try, and some succeed where others fail. Those who can’t do, envy those who can do, and those who can do envy those who don’t need to and one day we all hope that life will just become a never ending sunny holiday full of indulgence and pleasure.
I’m not going to tell you that having everything you want isn’t a great feeling, because personally as a man who has thus far conquered all of my initial goals, to the point where I am now creating newer even more ambitious goals to fill the void, success is a magnificent feeling. Having everything you want, does make your life easier, but once you have truly stared that beast in the eye and conquered, there is no going back. You’re committed to a hard life, you’re an addict. You need to fill your life pipe, with as much crack challenge as possible wherever you can get it. You become an entirely different entity. That’s why most rich successful guys keep working on new things until the end, that’s why Richard Branson with his “Virgin” enterprize didn’t just stop at making records. It’s why Steve Jobs didn’t call it quits after the MAC computer. Once you get a real taste of success, you can’t get enough.
Approx. six to seven years ago I was depressed, unemployed, 25 kilograms (55 pounds) overweight, broke, no money to go out, renting, no real career prospects and angry at the world. This was of course a low point, I had highs and lows prior to this point where I had been employed, fit, had girls, had money in the bank etc. However for me this was the lowest point in my life because my life had pretty much turned to shit in every aspect. So where do you go from rock bottom? Up of course.
At the time, I wanted more than anything to improve my ability to attract and seduce women, I had already read and tested some material and ideas I had gotten from the internet but never really committed myself wholeheartedly to becoming a master seducer. This all changed when I made the decision that this is what I wanted most in the world, and if I could do anything then this would be it, and for once in my life I actually stuck by that decision because I was so sick of taking up new challenges only to give up on them a short time later, things had to change.
My first obstacles were actually my friends, that’s to be expected. My mates just weren’t as interested in chasing girls as I was, they weren’t willing to try new things or put in any special effort, or even put themselves out there. If I wanted to get better I had to find some like-minded people who I could get better with, so that’s where the internet came in useful. Surrounding myself by like-minded guys gave me people to talk to about my experiences and insights, eventually this became a whole community, and I found myself drawing from a much larger pool. I would say now, that I no longer feel like I need to ‘share’ in order to grow, after you experience enough success you learn to become more independent and trust in your own judgement. That being said, you never want to become so arrogant that you can’t consider other peoples advice.
After years of being religiously active in the seduction community and countless rejections and uncomfortable moments with women, I had achieved very impressive track record. I wont go into too much detail out of respect for my fiancé but needless to say, I found that once I got over my initial terror of approaching and seducing beautiful strangers, I found that my seductions abilities enhanced quickly and impressively. This was great, I had essentially achieved what I had set out to do. I had conquered my first goal, and then it occurred to me, if I can achieve this, then I can achieve anything. So I set about taking it to the next level, writing for Way of the Player, coaching other guys to get success like me; helping other guys get past those initial hurdles. And at some point during this, I put in an application to join the Fire Brigade and I met the girl that would one day become my wife.
In many countries the Fire Brigade is considered a pretty blue collar job, a job that people do who can’t be university educated professionals. That’s not really the case where I live. Where I live a position in the Fire Brigade is one of the most sought after jobs available. They receive around 6-10 thousand applications a year and out of those they usually offer a job to 24-48 people a year. In addition to that, it usually takes about three years to get in from the moment you put in your application. So during that time, I actually went back to TAFE to do a course in Website Development, that course would one day allow me to start the business I have now “Way of the Web“, designing and developing websites and website software. That business along with my career in the Fire Brigade would allow me to have the money to drive a near new BMW 320i and own a magnificent two story house in a beautiful suburb at the age of 28, when most of my friends are still renting, and living week to week. Success breeds success.
But I didn’t just come on here to brag. I wanted to share with you guys who don’t have success and the things that you want, what it feels like to actually get them. I want to give you realistic expectations based on my own experiences so you can better prepare yourself for what’s to come and also, to make the decision of whether it is worth it.
To help you figure this out for yourself, I’m going to ask you three questions.
1. How much do you want this?
It’s easy to sit back and think about all the things it would be nice to have, things that will make your life funner or easier, but unless you actually want these things enough to go after them and make them yours, you are wasting your time feeling crap about what you don’t have rather than being happy with what you do have. If you’re not willing to go get it, don’t sit there wanting it. Nothing good can come from it. If you want it enough to do something about it, then the next question is crucial.
2. What is it worth to you?
What are you willing to sacrifice or give up in order to get what you want? This is something that so many people overlook. They think they can have their cake and eat it too. They think they can play Xbox, and go out drinking with their friends every weekend and success will eventually just come with age. This is a fallacy, it doesn’t. It just appears that way because after enough time mucking around waiting for it to happen, people usually wake up in their later years and realize that if they actually want to get anywhere in life they will need to make it happen. If you can figure this out while you’re still young, the world is your oyster.
If you know what you are willing to sacrifice before you get started on achieving your goal, then you will be truly prepared for success.
3. Do you want this for the right reasons?
Why do you want what you want? Do you want girls because you think that they will make you happy? They wont. Do you want money because you think it will make you happy? It wont. Only you can make you happy, and even then it is never a constant thing. Happiness is fleeting, it happens in moments and can happen to anyone regardless of how much they have so long as they appreciate what they have. Just ask all the happy children in the world.
As an adult it is better to aim at being self-content than it is to be happy. Better to know that you are capable, successful, independent and satisfied, than happy. I will even admit, one of the best parts of being successful is knowing that you have proved everyone wrong who ever doubted you. That is priceless. Happiness is for babies, aim for contentment, security, independence, confidence, success.
Once you have what you set out for, be prepared to take on new horizons and make sure that you are never so goal focused that you suck all the enjoyment out of the journey. The journey is the best part in a sense, because it’s where you figure it all out for yourself and make the best stories. The journey is always far more interesting than the result. If you become successful people just take that at face value, but they will always be really intrigued about how you got there. That is gold, that is what you can give to the world.