Even if you have the Ferrari keychain dangling from your waist and a Brioni blazer sitting across the shoulders, you are still light years away from being the man. The exterior is cute and all, but that is hardly what sustains your relationships over the years. That’s just the top layer. You were who you were before you got there.
What makes a man is the ability to handle himself as he should while under duress. Many will crack under pressure, but few are strong enough to endure the stress that comes with social, financial, professional, and sexual success.
5. Handle your emotions with care
If we had a cube of ice for every time we saw or overheard some guy whining on the phone about the current actions of his lover, global warming would come to and end. Not only does it make you look like a pussy to both your girlfriend and everyone else in your surrounding area but, it also is a complete turn off to whoever it is you are expecting to catch your tears on the other end of the line.
The man pulling this whine and moan tactic is only doing so because he has some hope that his lover will feel sympathy for him. And though she may sometimes entertain your cries, she will likely begin to consider texting your replacement the moment you hang up the phone.
Lets take a look at an example: Guy A and Guy B both have dates set up for tonight with their current girlfriend. Both guys put heavy planning and thought into the date for tonight, and then suddenly an hour before the date is suppose to take off, the girlfriends call and say they can’t make it because they don’t feel up to going anymore. Guy A begs and pleads that he girlfriend change her mind; ” Baby please!, I put someone much thought and planning into the date. You have to make it, I’m going to be disappointed and everything will be ruined”.
After ten minutes of begging his girlfriend reluctantly agrees, causing the night out to be forced, phony and awkward. Would you honestly enjoy spending your time with someone who had to be forced into hanging out with you? On the other hand, Guy B responds to the cancelled date by saying ” Its cool, Babe. Call me when you feel better.” This not only makes him appear caring and understanding, but she will also be worrying about what it is he is going to be getting into tonight.
She may also consider changing her mind because he seemed so nonchalant about it; she will likely be wondering what he will be doing as a result to not spending the night with her. That mystery in itself is compelling enough to persuade anyone, but even if it doesn’t, you still come across as altruistic boyfriend, which is and obvious win win situation.
This all goes to say, be slow to react when it comes to negativity or outcomes that are out of your control. No one wants to be around someone that depending on them for happiness; be you’re own well of happiness and you will enjoy life no matter what is going on in your life.
4. Be honest
Thomas Jefferson once said, “Honesty is the first chapter of the book wisdom,” and this seems to be the primary roadblock that men seem to crash into when women are involved. For some reason we have begun to feel like we aren’t good enough, like what we are striving for or what we have accomplished isn’t worthy.
This results in many men lying in order to make themselves feel secure around women who in all reality just wants to be shown a good time. Your imaginative seven figure salary is bound to blow up in your face eventually.
What happens when its time for the woman to come back to your place? To be picked up in your car? The embarrassment when faced with exposed as being a fraud has never seemed worth it to me. Instead, why don’t you try being genuine?
A woman is also just as attracted to a man that has grandiose aspirations as she is to a man that has already conquered his life journey. We all haven’t made it to our financial pinnacle just yet, and pretending only makes you appear like a fool.
Accept yourself for what you have already accomplished and work toward bigger goals. Also, be honest about what your intentions are with any woman you plan on dating. No one wants a broken heart and no one wants to deal with the stress coming from the other end. Make being an honest man a key attribute in your character and you will acquire more friends than you ever thought possible.
3. Be decisive
You know those people that can never seem to figure out what it is that they want on the dinner menu? The people that ask for your opinion on every decision they want to make in their lives. Ever find yourself in this quarrel with the opposite sex? ” What do you want for lunch” … ” I don’t know, what do you want”.. ” I’ll eat whatever you choose.”
The attractive men are the men who are the leaders of the group and leaders are decisive. They know what it is they want and they know when they want it. Whether it is they want out of a relationship or what they want out of their career; attractive men know exactly that. A man that is indecisive has a shaky foundation, and nothing long lasting can be built upon a foundation that isn’t sturdy.
Come to terms with what it is you want out of life and accept nothing less than it; strive for it, work toward with it every ounce of life you have inside, and people that aren’t sure of what they want will get behind you and help you achieve your goals, women and men alike.
2. Believe in yourself
When you wake up in the morning and look into the mirror, what is it that you see? Do you see a sexy and indestructible man, or do you see an ugly weakling? What many men don’t seem to grasp is this: if you don’t find yourself attractive, how do you expect anyone else to? Confidence is the most attractive quality anyone can possess. I can name a plethora of men that are less attractive than Chris Farley who are getting laid more than clean bed spreads.
You have the power to achieve anything you set your mind too, believing in yourself and taking action is the only way to get there. If you are insecure about your weight, then get into the gym. If you don’t like your hair, then get a new hair cut. But don’t make these things your excuse for not getting laid. People are often too self absorbed to care about your shortcomings anyway.
Think about it. How many unattractive people do you remember seeing today? I bet you couldn’t point out a single one in a line up for a million dollars. No one cares about what you look like, and you wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
1. Express your sexuality
If you are one of the guys that clam up and become uncomfortable discussing your sexuality in a group, women will be turned off. Sex is something natural, and therefore it is nothing you should be ashamed of. The men that get laid the most are the men who are confident in their sexuality and don’t mind leading and beginning sexual conversations.
Lets face it, if you want to have sex, sexuality has to be expressed. And the more comfortable you are with the concept of sex, the more comfortable women will be around you when sex is involved. Now don’t be the immature guy that somehow manages to turn every statement into something sexual. Just be able to calmly and casually express yourself whenever sex is the subject.
New York City’s Dating & Seduction Consultant: Eddie Fews. For coaching and consultation email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com and you will be contacted by me or one of my representatives within 24 Hours.