Ego-Boost: It’s Easier Being a Guy
Men Destroy, Women Build
When a man sees a woman, he instantly has an image of an amazing, sprawling estate with a nice lawn and new paint. All the traits thus far are perfect, from smell, to hair, to smile to ample boobie.
As men, we start out with extremely high hopes. However, when the relationship progresses, we have a tendency to start taking apart this house little by little. We start finding little issues to counter the initial infatuation associated with them. The house gets pulled apart and eventually sits in a cloud of dust, the remnants a far cry from where this all started.
When a woman sees a man, there are a lot of variables contributing to the idea of “attraction.” She will look at the physical attributes of course, but those aren’t nearly as important as men think. Looking good will get you that extra boost, but it’s not the make-or-break that beauty is to a man.
Naturally, and in contrast to men, women start off with all the necessary tools and materials to build an amazing, sprawling, estate. As she finds more and more masculine, sexy things about the guy, the house is gradually built and meticulously planned. She looks at how you act towards the waiter when he drops red wine on your crotch, how you react to a guy cutting you off in traffic…the nuances of masculinity gets broken down to levels that women find extremely important, yet men don’t pay enough attention to.
In the end, she builds up the house and becomes fully committed, regardless of his shortcomings as a “looker.”
The example above is a very simplistic representation of how women and men are wired.
Women innately find great value in masculinity and protection (the “intangibles” of a man).
Men, wired mainly to spread their seed to accelerate pro-creation, are very much focused on the physical attributes of a woman (wide hips = fertile etc.).
This is also one of the main reasons that relationships fail to function. Both the man and woman are on different paths for each other; one is breaking something down, one is building something up. It’s a direct path to failure. Naturally, the best way to be in a relationship is for both parties to have the same path to completion (more on that in another article).
So…why is it easier to be the guy?
Because we have more leeway. We can overcome our physical shortcomings to attract a girl far easier than women can to men.
In the same vain, men can get beautiful women with things like money and power. How many ugly dudes do you know driving BMW Z4s with a Bluetooth on, a fine-ass girl on his side? Enough to scream to the gods and ask why life is so unfair, right? Now how many rich ugly women do you see with tanned, ripped pieces of man-hunk (not including any forms of prostitution)? Not many.
It’s all about the intangibles: the innate search of a man who provides safety and support.
So what does the girl like to see?
Think of it this way: You meet a girl that is an avid gym goer, she’s fit and is dedicated to a diet/workout. Super hot right? (house is already built)
A girl meets a slightly over-weight dude but finds him funny and engaging. He decides he wants to look good for his girlfriend and gets a gym membership. He’s going to try to look better FOR HER. This is incredibly sexy to a woman because she’s thinking, “I liked him without the washboard abs anyways, but now he is trying to get fit specifically for me.” (They are building together)
Knowing how women are wired, it gives us guys a lot of opportunities to be attractive.
The reason girls like guys that are aloof/cocky is that the amount of information is limited, and girls have a habit of trying to find MORE. As you soften your cocky persona up day by day, you feed her enough information that satisfies her romantic fantasy of “He’s different.”
In a way, she’s breaking you down, thus leading to the build of a house: you.
Remember in high school (or beyond) when you thought the best thing to do was “Just be honest and tell her how I feel”? Well revealing your hand too quickly turned out to be a curse right? She knew too much, too early. You built the house on your own in a few hours, resulting in a product that she had NO part in creating. She’s trying to help build and influence the direction, not throw water on a Chia Pet.
With this knowledge in the holster, what can you do to be more attractive? (This is common sense, but apply it to what we covered above)
- Be mysterious – Slow-drip the information, don’t dump it on her
- Be multi-dimensional – Be goofy, be deep, be fun, be smart
- Be a builder, not a break-down…er – Keep expectations low and be pleasantly surprised