Eddie Fews: The Power In A Proper Compliment

There has been a myth going around the seduction community for sometime that you should never compliment a woman on her looks. That instead you should point out something unique that a guy doesn’t usually compliment her on to get her attention. While I agree that an indirect compliment will definitely lift a woman’s spirits, I can’t help but laugh at the guys who are afraid to acknowledge a woman’s beauty. And I won’t even bother addressing the men who think they have to NEG – say something negative to knock an attractive woman off her high horse just to get her attention. I would only advise the men on that level of social immaturity to get a horse of their own before they even think about connecting with the opposite sex. But back to the subject at hand..

I believe that a proper compliment based solely off of a woman’s looks is the best way to connect with her. Women carry purses that are usually filled with items to touch up their appearance( make up, mirrors, etc.) which only suggest that they worry about what they look like a lot more than men do. What better way to ease the mind of a woman than to let her know that she doesn’t have to worry about how she is begin perceived at that moment. Having put her mind at ease, she can now contemplate other matters.. perhaps even YOU? 

Now there is a catch..

The compliment certainly has to be unique and more than unique it has to be genuine. A compliment such as “ You’re beautiful/sexy/hot/cute/pretty” is unreacted to for several reasons. 

Reason #1 

 It’s obvious-She hears this ALL the time. 

Reason #2 

When you say “ You’re beautiful” you are stating this as if it is a fact.  While YOU may perceive her as beautiful she may be the complete opposite to someone else. Now although she may hear the word beautiful all the time; changing “ You’re beautiful “ to “ I THINK you are beautiful “ will get you a completely different reaction – I guarantee it. 

 Reason #3 

There is no YOU in this compliment. What more is she supposed to say other than “ Thank You ” while walking away. Exactly how do the men that walk around calling women hot/sexy expect them to respond? Lean into you and start making out with you? Grab your hand, take out a pen, and write their phone number on it? In what reality does this happen and why is it that the urban man sits around waiting for miracles instead of making them happen. This is your life; waiting will only get you what waiting has already gotten you.. Which is what? 

Women wear tight dresses, high heels, and even walk the way they do because they WANT to be viewed as attractive. They want some guy to be confident enough in both himself and her to compliment her beauty without fear. So compliment her beauty relentlessly, do so with passion, high energy and she’ll love for you it. 

The trick to successfully complimenting a woman’s looks is to state how the way she looks is making YOU feel. She doesn’t want to know she is attractive as much as she wants to know how much her attractiveness is affecting YOU. This is about YOU, this isn’t about her looking a certain way; it’s about her beauty filling you with fire from the inside out. No woman can resist a man confident enough to express how tempted he is to give into weakness because of her beauty. 

 I’ll give you an example.. 

Back when I experimented with the online dating thing, I realized that all men would do is compliment a woman on her looks and the women hated it. Why?  Because they weren’t doing it the proper way. They would all say “ Hey Beautiful, Hey sexy, you’re hot etc. “. Now as you stated before, they could of received more responses if they said “ I think you’re sexy, I think you’re hot etc “, but I decided to take a different approach. I was going to describe in one or two lines how the way a woman looked was making me feel. I never had to read profiles.. I would just monitor my emotions while looking at their pictures and just describe this to them. 

One of my favorite lines was “ Damn girl.. you make me wanna knit us both matching sweaters! “ 

I could send that to ten girls and get seven responses, because I was stating how the way she looked was making me FEEL.

A proper compliment tailored to a woman’s looks also does something powerful for your benefit. Not only will paying a woman a proper compliment heighten the way she perceives herself, but it will also heighten the way she perceives you. We’ve all heard the expression “ It takes one to know one “ and people are only mirrors of ourselves after all. When you comment to a person on anything they subconsciously think it must have something to do with you; by validating her attractiveness you also validate your own.

I used to date this girl named Natalia, and boy was she BEAUTIFUL… But she wasn’t always that way. Natalia was my next door neighbor when I lived in the suburbs. And before we were together I would see her from time to time, but I never really thought anything of her. Then one day I had a friend over who came into my house excited saying he had no idea I had such a sexy neighbor. He was also wondering why I had never made a move on her. I told him I didn’t think she was all that cute, and he told me I was crazy. So immaturely I said to myself “ Fine, I’m just going to sleep with her to score some cool points with my boy; not to mention, the idea of sleeping with a next door neighbor is a bit exciting.”

The next day I looked her up on facebook ( we went to high school together, she was three years older) and sent her a message:

Me: Hey, there’s this cute girl that lives in my neighbor hood.. You know her?

Her: (I don’t remember what she said but it was something like..) Haha yeah that’s me 🙂

Me: Dope.. So can I borrow some sugar?

Her: Sure 😉

I think she thought I was joking, but I went right on over, knocked on her door and asked for sugar.  She laughed, we talked for a bit and then we exchanged phone numbers. The whole time I am thinking “ This girl is not all that attractive -I’m not even sure I want to go through with this “. But I was on a mission and I was going to complete it. I called her a couple days later, chatted with her for 20 minutes and then invited her over for a back yard picnic. So there we were, hanging out in my backyard, me still thinking she’s not that cute, and then it all started… She went into a mind state where she began describing to me how attractive I was for about fifteen minutes. She had been in a metaphorical cocoon and once the compliments began to rain, she broke out and emerged as a butterfly. My eyes glazed over and I was hers. I ate it up guys and for the first time since I had seen her I began to view her as all of the things she was telling me I was.

“ Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” – General Lew Wallace

“ A pimple turns to a dimple when you’re in love” – Japanese Proverb

Long story short

I fell more in love with Natalia that I’ve ever fallen for any woman in my entire life, all because she made a habit of constantly telling me how amazing I was. And as I stated above; subconsciously I would associate all of these great things with her even though my original opinions of her were negative. Her opinions of me, became my opinions of her and she knew this. I had fallen for her, I became emotional over her, and she began looking for a new male the conquer with her silver forked tongue.

There is a lot of power in the compliment and we must also realize that the more compliments we give out to others the more compliments we get in return. Compliments boost both someone else’s confidence and our own so it’s a win-win situation. Just make sure they’re genuine, original and tailed directly to the person. “I like your dress” doesn’t cut it; it’s cliche and heard by someone somewhere every single day. Try “ That dress goes great with the tone of your skin, how did you know to pick that color? “ That’ll open up the person and get the conversation flowing, but just remember that it has to be honest and genuine. If you love women enough, this will all be easy for you. Just begin expressing to them how much you really do LOVE specific things about them and how these things are making you FEEL.

Eddie Fews

[social_share/]

For consultation and personal instruction email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather
adminEddie Fews: The Power In A Proper Compliment
  • Adam Powell

    Man this was interesting. Very thoughtful and detailed.

  • Marcos

    Good article .. In my personal i never thought of compliments in that way but now that you mention it I had something similar to your story with Natalia but i never came to realized this .. so thank you for showing me a different perspective of how to use compliments

  • Andy

    Great article Eddie, keep up the good work fellah

  • Maximus

    This came at the perfect time of my life Eddie. I don’t what it is, but you seem to always know what I am thinking. Thanks for the correction man; I had been struggling with the idea of complimenting a girl on her looks for some time. 5 Stars!

  • Geraldine

    Great article. Many of Dale Carnegie’s philosophies from “How to Win Friends and Influence People” resonate in this article. Well played, Eddie. No pun intended. Ok maybe a little.

  • Really enjoyed this one and it has transformed the way I’ll interact with women. Bless

  • good man.. very good.

  • !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Dave

    Excellent article Eddie, great stuff! What I like the most about it is there are a number of practical points I can take away from this. I’ll be using them when out next for sure

  • Jane

    As an english major I just have to say that your writing style makes me very happy!

    Love it <3

  • Pauly B

    Hey man, what are you rates for consultation?

    • eddiefews.com/services

  • Jamie j

    Great post about compliments. U dont know how exhasling it is to hear no personality from a man. So many and so much fast paced the use of “hi sexy” or “hi beautiful” is almost a standard. You should put it in metro, so they all know about your “tricks” !

  • PP11330

    I thought this was pretty good. Thanks Eddie Fews! 🙂