By Elliott Gordon
Last night, my friend and I were kicking back with a couple of beers, talking about dating tips for men, when he made an interesting remark.
“Have you ever noticed that women aren’t as funny as men?”
I stopped to think about it. There are lots of female comedians out there, but as much as I tried to doubt him, most women don’t aspire to be funny in the same way that men do.
His remark hadn’t even occurred to me until he brought it up. Of course women aren’t funny–they don’t have to be. Would you jerk off to Lucille Ball? If I date a woman with a sense of humor, that’s great, but it’s far from a dealbreaker.
For women, on the other hand, a sense of humor is one of the highest ranking personality traits a man can attain.
Think I’m joking? Simply log on to any dating sites and you will see time and time again women writing “I want a guy who has a sense of humor.” (The interesting thing is that when you browse the men’s profiles, hardly any of them are funny – at best, you get a resume and a list of favorite bands.)
Why do women seek out men who have a sense of humor?
It’s because there exists a direct link between humor and masculinity. Making a woman laugh is almost a gender role that we play as men, in the same way that a woman loving and caring for us is a role that she plays in a relationship.
Here are three dating tips for men that explain why having a sense of humor is not only attractive, but masculine:
Dating tip for men #1: Protection.
As men, it’s our role to protect our women, and make them feel safe. Humor is one way of doing this. If shit hits the fan, what’s the best way dealing with the situation? Make light of it with humor.
Dating tip for men #2: Social status.
Humor is also a symbol of social status, another masculine trait women are wired to crave. A man of high social status is likely to better provide for her child. And today, the most popular guy in the room is often the funniest.
Dating tip for men #3: Teasing.
Teasing is not only a form of verbal foreplay (that leads to physical foreplay), it’s also extremely masculine. By teasing a woman, you show her that you are unaffected and unintimidated by her.
It is important to be aware of the masculine link to humor when you’re around women. Why? There are a lot of funny guys, but their senses of humor don’t appeal to women. When a woman says she wants a man with a sense of humor, she’s referring to a very specific kind.
For example, are you really fulfilling the masculine role in the relationship by acting self-deprecating? Humor can sometimes be a way of putting other people down, so that your audience can feel better about themselves. Many gurus who give dating tips for men think that making yourself the butt of your own jokes is attractive; I believe that it is not masculine at all.
Other guys try too hard to be funny. As a dating tip for men, don’t try too hard to seek approval.
Humor lives in the moment. If you make a joke of something five minutes after it happened, not only is it out of context, but it shows that you are slow and this is definitely not an alpha male trait to have.
Focus instead on the three dating tips for men listed above. Make light of bad situations, use charm to elevate your own social status, and tease her. This is the type of humor that beautiful women find most attractive.
Elliott Gordon is the owner of Authentic Online Dating Tips for Men, a Washington DC-based company offering both dating advice both online and offline. His website can be found at http://www.wheretofindgirl.com