Speak With Effect – Improve Your Conversation

If you want to become a Player, you need to learn how to have good conversations with beautiful women.

I am currently in the process of writing the full story of Giacomo Casanova, the infamous 18th century Italian seducer; in a series of articles. Beyond being renowned as the worlds most infamous seducer of beautiful women, Casanova also follows a remarkably similar set of values to those that we follow here at Way of the Player.

Such as the way he respects women and looks to them for intellectual as well as physical stimulation. And his philosophy towards gracious rejection, his desire to push the social boundaries which inhibit most men from greatness.

However, this article is not about Giacomo Casanova; this article is about learning to speak with effect which was ‘inspired’ by Casanova, or rather a famous quote that was made about him by Prince de Ligne…

“His every word was a revelation, his every thought a book”

In essence what this quote means, is that when Casanova spoke he didn’t talk sh!t and people always listened.

This is how you should want to be known by those around you. As someone who has value in their words and someone to be listened to and respected at all times.

Have you ever met someone who is really influential both with you and with everyone around them? When they speak everyone goes quiet and when someone asks the group you are in a question, everyone looks to them for the answer.

Maybe this is you, maybe this is somebody you know but I guarantee everyone knows someone like this, someone they respect and admire and listen to above all others and you might think that they can do this because they are smarter or wittier than you are but they probably have no more potential than you or anyone else, they just know how to speak with effect.

What if I told you, it is often those with nothing of value to say who speak the most?

Most people out there have a tendency to speak before they think, they think that the value in being social and interesting is to bullsh!t on with loads of small talk and the whole time they are doing this, they are building a connection.

This is the reason why we do it, isn’t it? Why we go up to strangers we find interesting and talk to them. We want to find some common ground we want them to like us but when we want it too much, our words can begin to lose their value because we have taken a tactic of quantity over quality, then talk becomes meaningless and the connections we build are really just superficial and temporary.

They might pretend to listen and be interested in you when you’re talking for the sake of talking but their interest, more often than not is just them being polite and they will maintain the guise of friendship for the sake of politeness without actually giving a sh!t about you or what you have to say.

Words can be a very powerful tool of seduction but if they are not used effectively then they become worthless.

If you are having conversations with beautiful women and they are not leading anywhere then this is because your words have no real value, they are not well thought through, you are conversing for the sake of conversing and you are not speaking with effect.

As a man and a player you should be encouraging beautiful women to talk, they love it, it’s what they do best but when you do talk, your words should have true value to them. They should be gems of wisdom and insight which make them feel like you truly understand them as a person.

Make every word a revelation and every thought a book.

Speak with meaning and listen intently, if you are unsure of a topic of conversation then don’t chime in with your half baked ignorant opinion. Ask the right questions, the questions that will make them think and let them know you are really interested and listening, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak.

Make every conversation a work of art, unique, interesting and deep. Treat every beautiful woman you feel attraction for as a canvas for this work of art.

You know nothing about each other, make the interaction an experience unlike any other, let her feel what it is like to truly communicate with someone of value, someone who wont just tell them what they want to hear or follow the same old conversation routines.

Be someone who tells them what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear. Tell them those words that will alter their perceptions of the world about them and make an everlasting impression.

It’s not as hard as it seems, if that sounds difficult to you it is because you have grown up accustomed to reciting the words and opinions of others rather than creating your own.

We all need to learn to start thinking for ourselves, rather than letting the media shape our interactions with one another.

It is because of this bad habit of playing out our social scenes based on what we see on television that is stopping us as men from being truly bold and limiting our beliefs of what is possible. Television should be a reflection of real life, not the other way around.

Try to say things to people that they have never heard before and they will remember you for it and make sure you are being genuine.

Once you start communicating with your mind rather than your mouth then you will be able to create connections between yourself and other individuals incredibly quickly, because all small talk does is stall the real conversations that you have when you feel comfortable with another person. I am telling you now, that you can skip the small talk and save yourself the time and trouble.

With enough confidence and the right attitude you can approach beautiful women and have them desperately wanting to take you to bed within minutes.

That certainly doesn’t mean that you should sit there thinking of the perfect thing to say before you approach the girl because that never works. This attitude should be present in the conversation, after you have approached her.

If you want to be able to speak with effect then you need to totally present in the moment at hand but rather than filling your head with thoughts of what you should say and what you think will look right. Instead bring those real thoughts you have to the front of your mind and build on them.

If you think that she is dressed eventually, if you are impressed about her piercings or a tattoo, then don’t hold back from it, ask her about it or tell her why you like it. We think these things all the time but we want to be polite. Seduction is not politeness, there is no polite love or sex. Don’t be polite, be bold and courageous, say what you really think and if you don’t have an opinion then ask the right questions until you have one.

This is being genuine and real and more importantly, you are displaying yourself as an open book and considering how much most men hide from women in an interaction, if you seem open and honest then you will give them a powerful connection and security which will more often than not, lead to them wanting to get to know you better.

By Kieran Black

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Speak With Effect – Improve Your Conversation