Be Who You Are While Alone

When I entered the train yesterday night there was a group of eight guys and girls fairly intoxicated coming from an sporting event. Full of charisma and energy they were telling jokes, stories, and laughing the night away. Intrigued by their spirit I decided to sit in the same area as them, to listen and observe the situation. I took my seat, gave them a smile and a nod as I waited to see what would become of this.

Three train stops later seven of the group members exited, hugging and high fiving the friend they were leaving behind. This middle aged man, in his teams sports cap had a face flushed full of joy as he was exchanging farewells with his buddies. But once all of his friends exited, and the train began to move again, the joy that once filled his face began to diminish. Slowly but surely his smile transformed into the typical uncertain expressions painted on the faces of many us New Yorkers.

He reached into his pockets, pulled out his iPod, plugged in his headphones, and lowered his head into what appeared to be a pool of sadness. The happiness he once felt, appeared to have left the train with his buddies to join them on their venture. That’s when it hit me… His happiness wasn’t his own. Is my happiness even my own? If not.. What am I dependent on for happiness? And what can be done to develop happiness I can call mine?

There was a time when I could only approach women if I was out with my friends; not only would they encourage me to approach, they would be there to lift me back up if I ever came in contact with rejection. I would instantly be met with acceptance from my guys, so I was only facing a world of uncertainty and discomfort for a few minutes. The anxiety from approaching was non existent whenever my friends were around, however when I was alone, it was square one all over again. I still hadn’t become the man I wanted to be, I could only act like it when it was convenient for my ego.

Then one day I was out approaching women on my city streets with a friend of mine. He wasn’t doing his best, but I was on fire! Every woman I approached seemed to be interested in what I had to say, even if they weren’t interested in me sexually.

Approach after approach I was seducing and winning the hearts of beautiful women everywhere and then.. My friend said ” Hey man, I’m going to call it a day but your doing great you should stay”. I was still on the emotional high but as he began to walk away, I caved in and began walking to the nearest subway.

Right before swiping my train pass, I turned around and said ” What the hell, I’m getting my ass back out there”. I returned to the streets and approached alone for the next hour. The natural high was far greater than anything I had felt while approaching dependent on my friends for security. The shackles had been removed and for the first time since I was a child, I felt true freedom. I was clear in my thoughts, centered in my being and rich at heart.

When you learn to be happy while your alone it will improve every aspect of your life. You will no longer have to lean on your closest friends as much and as a result there will be less weight from them to carry. Be the man you want to be when there is no one around. A true judgment of a mans character is who he is while he is alone. Practice being with yourself among people who have no idea who you are, go out to bars and attend events, with just your ego. Go out and establish new social circles and meet women and you will transform into the Player you have been called to be faster than ever before.

Sign Up For The Way Of The Player Forum here:

By Eddie Fews


For Dating Consultation email Eddie:

Please follow and like us: