What’s up guys,
It’s been a while since I’ve made a blog post mainly due to all the writing I’ve been doing for my upcoming book titled ” The Worker Ant Syndrome” . That, combined with the answering emails, staying current with the forums, and the increase of clientele after the holiday season has left me with little time to contribute to my own blog. I had read a great article about the importance of waking up earlier recently and I decided to wake up two hours earlier than normal. This had allotted me additional time to contribute to areas of my life that I had recently been neglecting.
I want say thank you to all who are continuing to follow the blog and a big thank you to all who have sent me letters of appreciation for the content I’ve written here. Every “thank you” and every bit of recognition is more incentive for me to keep doing what I do. When you know someone is listening, you want to make sure you give them something worth listening to.
To continue, I want to discuss what I feel may be the most anti-seductive thing about the men in the culture of our society, and the men in many other developed nations today. And that happens to be : The Unwillingness To Make A Sacrifice. By choosing to understand that abundance does exist, abundance can very well be yours, especially when you consider the advantages of the society we are living in. We’re in this internet age where each and every day the speed at which we can acquire the tangibles we desire increases.
You want some food? Go to grubhub or seamless, click a couple buttons, and you can have a full cooked meal delivered to your front door in under an hour.
Feel like talking to a friend that lives halfway across the world? Not only can you call or text them in an instant, but you can even pull their face up in live time right on the monitor of your computer through Skype, Oovoo, or FaceTime .
Want some new clothes or some new shoes? Go to your favorite clothing websites, select the items you want, and they will have it personally shipped to your door. But not only that, most clothing stores and sites like eBay will give you a a discount if you decide to order online in opposition to taking more time out of your day by going to the store to purchase the item in person.
We are being encouraged from every angle to take the instant way out. Our dating has even become instant. Why go out to bars and night clubs to meet women when you can download apps like Tinder, Okcupid, and POF and literally have women at your door step in a couple of hours if you’re skilled enough? Why make a relationship work? Just get a new one. All it takes is the click of a button…Right? This has become our society.
There are two kinds of situations that I deal with the most frequently when it comes to the mentality of the men I work with. There is the guy who is so rooted in this instant age that he has lost all appreciation for the opposite sex. As I said above, why stress over a girl when you can click a button and whip up another one? Especially when you consider that there are more quality women than there are quality men. Any man that’s good with women and/or is frequently around social settings can tell you this. It’s said that 20% of the men sleep with 80% of the women. Think about it… How many of your friends in high school and college were truly getting laid consistently? I’m not talking about that she- was- drunk-lay once or twice a month; I’m talking about those actually getting laid consistently when they wanted to…
I went on a three day dry fast a couple of weeks ago in which I couldn’t eat food or drink water for 72 hours. And never in my life up until around the 40th hour did I realize how truly unappreciative I was for water. Water was everywhere and everyone was practically giving it away for free. I can walk into any public bath room in New York City, turn on the faucet, and have water in an instant. Water has become so insignificant that we pollute it now without even considering what this means for the future. So over the course of the dry fast, the thirst and the desire for water over that 72 hours led me to even marvel at little puddles of unclean water on the streets of NYC. As the man above, its very difficult to value anything that comes so easily and cheaply. I won’t get into the specifics of the dry-fast now, but just know that water literary shapes itself to the energy we are giving off to it at any giving moment. There’s a documentary called “Water” which breaks this down scientifically. The more you appreciate water the more the molecular structure of the water bonds together, and the healthier the water becomes for your body. Say “I Love You” to the water, and the water molecules bond together to form a shape that resembles a perfect snow flake; say “I hate you” and the molecules scatter and separate reducing the quality of the water. So the fast had many benefits physically, mentally, and spiritually, but the main one was that it had changed how valuable I perceived water to be; thus making all the water I put into my body from now on more beneficial.
I believe this happens with the people in our lives as well, and this is the problem all the men who lose appreciation for the opposite sex are having. Their lack of appreciation is causing the energy they give off to women to alter the emotional structure of the women in such a way that the women are becoming tasteless – reducing their quality. Women are becoming disposable, because like “water” they are seen everywhere and they are being accessed so easily. Remember when women were waiting until marriage to have sex? Nope. I’m guessing those were the days. Men were more likely to marry a woman because they knew there was no way she was going to sleep with them unless they did. Nowadays there are too many women that want commitment who don’t know of anything they can offer besides sex. And they even give that away before there is a commitment. So why would a man commit? Just so he can continuing getting what he was already getting without one? Give me a break.
Then there is the guy who understands the “instant” age but someway somehow he doesn’t believe he can get another girl better than the woman who is already in his life. And so they tolerate behavior from women that they shouldn’t; and if there is one thing a woman hates more than anything it is a man who is putting up with her shit. Men meet these women then lose their backbones and the woman’s respect for her man goes out the window. And once a woman loses respect for her man, the loves goes right on out the window with it. Even with all of the available dating websites, and beautiful single women all over the place in big cities, there are men that still hold on as if there isn’t another woman just like her a couple conversations away.
I’ve been a surviver of both situations in my life at one time or another. In my last relationship I had met a girl I had a lot in common with – we even had the same birthday. After the relationship ended I remember thinking ” I’ll probably never meet another women with the same birthday as me again”. I let that mentality cause me to internally hold on longer than I should have. And the moment I let that go and aligned myself back with the abundance mentality I had before the relationship, I met two attractive women over the course of the next three weeks who both shared the same birthday as me; and the woman I was with before. It was almost the universes way of saying, “Don’t you dare think I’m not capable of supplying you with abundance… Here’s goes two of them”.
I had always been lined up with an abundance mentality, but for whatever reason I had been led down this road once again to learn a few lessons I may of missed out on in the past. And because of this, I now had more women of a higher quality who wanted to be in my life than I had previously.
I think it’s important that every man who wants to be skilled at attracting women learn to practice an abundance mentality by letting them go. I’m not encouraging you to go around sleeping with tons of women and then letting them go; I’m encouraging you to let them go before it even reaches that point. Practice walking away from the women that you truly like before it even gets that far. When you’re out at a club or a bar and you finally see a “ten” and you get her phone number; delete it, immediately after and move on with your life.
Know from deep within yourself that it is the willingness to make that sacrifice that will energetically make you more attractive to “ten’s” in the future. A woman needs to know that you can stand on your own two feet and be fine without her for her to continue to feel attraction for you. And the best way to develop that in today’s society that i have found is to practice letting go of the women you truly want before you even dive all the way in. The universe will test you to make sure you are ready. You’ll meet some of the greatest women you’ll feel you’ve met ever, and if you pass the test when it does, a new world of abundance will open up for you. There are always higher levels.
For the guy who has lost appreciation for women I would encourage that you purge. Spend some time alone; spend some time in celibacy. When you go out to bars, don’t approach, just hang out with your friends and enjoy your drinks. Don’t answer any text from old girls, don’t masturbate, and definitely don’t watch any porn whether purging or not. I’ve had to do this several times in in my life. Ninety days of celibacy (no ejaculation) is said to rewire and reset the minds view on sexuality. Men who struggle to get an erection because of desensitization from over exposure to sex and/or the watching of pornography were said to correct their problem after ninety days without an ejaculation.
In closing, I think it’s important for men to find a healthy balance between the two men I described above. If you’re currently guy number one, spend some time purging, if you’re guy number two, practice getting the women you want and then letting them go until you find yourself within an emotional state and alignment that you’re comfortable with. Life is all about finding a healthy balance. Men too far in one direction shortly find themselves in the opposite direction because of the law of polarity – everything that goes up must come back down. Balance creates happiness and so balance is about hovering at a midway point so that one finds a healthy balance for themselves. Spend some time finding your own balance so that you can experience a higher level of emotional wellness and health within relationships. And let me also include that this is a male driven article; I think its important for men to learn how to attract and for women to learn how to be attracted. If a woman and a man both tried to adopt this same mentality they would naturally repel one another. Let one learn to attract and the other strengthen their ability to be attracted. Men being hunters, and being more assertive about their approach to meeting and dating women are better off being the one to attract those who are most capable of being attracted. Any woman looking for tips on how to become more “attracted” feel free to email me at the contact us section of the website.
Thanks for Reading.
Peace & Love
– Eddie Fews
Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via Skype, phone or IM.
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