Bar To Bedroom, The Player’s Guide

how to pick up beautiful women at a bar

For this particular guide we are going to start at the beginning of a typical seduction and walk it through all the important stages to getting your girl in bed (for sex).

When reading this it is important to remember that it is not enough to simply know the steps… you also need to be charming and have enough confidence to work your way through them. The more effort you put into your appearance, technique and WOTP (way of the player) knowledge, the easier it will be for you to navigate through these stages.

So let’s get started shall we!

Stage 1: The friends stage.

If you have approached a group of beautiful women and successfully engaged them in evocative friendly conversation, then you have reached the friends stage.

What this means is that you are now at the point where you could leave the conversation and return after a small absence and still be able to retain an equal or greater level of interest/attraction than you had prior to your departure. If you’re unsure at the time of your departure whether this point has been reached you will find out soon enough when you leave and come back.

If they show little or no interest upon your return then you have already failed to make a good initial impression and it would be wise at this point to move on and keep them as neutral acquaintances rather than continue an uphill battle and risk them alienating you completely and making you look like a loser.

Stage 2: The romantic stage.

If you’re confident that you’ve reached the ‘friends stage’ it is time to begin to show your sexual interest and the key word here is ‘interest’. You don’t want to sleaze onto her right away, you need to build her up to it.

It is still rather easy to stuff things up at this stage so don’t be too eager. Your target(s) are interested in you, she has invited you to join her social circle. She enjoyed the sample of what is to come, so all you want to do at this point is keep heating things up at a steady pace and concentrate on drawing reciprocal interest out of her so you’re not playing the role of an entertainer.

This is also the stage where you want to start touching her flirtatiously, don’t grab her ass or boobs but don’t be afraid to touch her hands, arms, hips when the opportunity presents itself. Most girls will return the touch at this stage if they like you.

Stage 3: The approval stage.

(This stage only applies if the girl that you’re interested in is with friends. Most of the time they will be)

If you want to take their girl-friend home with you then you need to make sure you have the approval of her friends otherwise they will majorly cock-block you, it’s just a sad fact of life.

When dealing with her friends you want to be appear attractive yet a little distant. You don’t want to heavily flirt and touch all of them suggestively because if you do this you might end up in a situation wherein the girls will decide between them who gets you (this happens more frequently than most guys believe).

In other words they will ‘put dibs on you’ OR one of the girls who you’re not interested in may express subtle interest to the others claiming you as hers for the night. If this occurs and you continue to pursue the subject of ‘your’ interest rather than the girl who ‘put dibs on you’ then you may find that you will lose out completely. Your target won’t want to betray her friend and the girl with the interest for you will be offended by your disinterest.

This situation ‘can’ be repaired if you have a reliable and attractive wingman; howeves, this is a volatile situation to put your self in and is best avoided in the first place. So try and direct your ‘special’ attention to your target to avoid unnecessary complications.

Stage 4: Isolating her from her friends.

In this stage you need to proactively set the precedent for intimacy before the moment has passed and that means separating her from her friends. A lot of girls wont feel comfortable hooking up with you with their friends watching unless their friend is hooking up as well.

Sexual displays of affection are preferably displayed in private settings as there is alot of vulnerability involved and most girls like to feel a certain level of safety when they kiss you intimately. In order to set this precedent for intimacy you will need to isolate your girl away from her friends to create a more desirable climate to hook up with her.

There are some basic techniques which can be employed in this situation. One simple yet popular tactic is as follows: If a girl is standing on the outside of her friends you should subtly move to stand between her and her friends while facing her. If she likes you she will follow your lead, therefore separating the two of you from the rest of the group and creating your own smaller circle.

If there are other people standing in between you and your girl in a circle, then a good strategy is to pretend you’re having difficulty hearing her and gently pull or usher her accross the group to stand next to you. Alternatively, you can  cross over to stand next to her or point to a secluded setting to the side of the group and meet her on the fringe so you have just separated yourselves from everyone else.

The way you choose to isolate your target should be based on what feels most natural for you. It’s important it doesn’t feel strange or awkward, after all you’re doing this so that your intentions don’t appear obvious to everyone (people might feel left out).

A perfect isolation should ideally be performed with subtlety and ease and not in an instance where one of her friends is left standing alone. This is important because 9 times out of 10 if you leave one of her friends on her own she will cock-block you big time.

If you are in a situation where you have no wingman and you are ready to isolate your target but her friend would have no-one to pay her any attention, start talking to a reasonably attractive guy or group of guys closest to her and furthest away from your target.

This will also provide you with a good opportunity to wrap your arm around your targets waste whilst you turn to talk to the new guys you have brought in to entertain her friend. Once her friend is receiving adequate reciprocal attention from the newcomers, you have a better opportunity to isolate your target.

Stage 5 – Making your move

If you have successfully isolated your target then by this stage should have a pretty good idea of whether she is interested or not. 9 times out of 10, if you have been flirting with each other and she has let you isolate her like this then she wants to hook up with you.

At this stage you want to take the intimacy to a whole new level, remember to keep your tone soft and passive and try to concentrate completely on her. Ignore as much of the external world as you can and try to lock her eyes with yours.

If they are going in a triangle from your eyes to your mouth then she is thinking about kissing you in that moment. If her eyes are locked with yours then glancing around casually she might be unsure or nervous of your what you are planning.

At this stage you want her to have a good idea of your intentions; in order to subtely let her know, you should start by touching her softly on her hands, her arms, her waist, her face, her hair; caress her skin firmly enough on contact to eliminate any doubt in her mind of your sexual interest and prepare her for what is to come.

It is okay to draw this moment out as long as you want in order to keep up the intensity. Look from her lips to her eyes or whisper into her ear in a way that she can feel the warmth of your breath on her neck.

When you feel it is time for the kiss, don’t hesitate. Gently place your hand on her hip and draw her into you or, if you want to portray more confidence and leadership, brush back her hair and put a hand softly around her upper neck and hold her while you are kissing her.

Try to kiss her as if it is a sample of what is to come, when kissing her make sure you draw away first. You wan’t to leave her feeling like she wants more of you, shorter kisses are better than long ones at this stage.

Make sure you take breaks in between to talk to her, unless you are in an environment where a place for sex is readily available close by.  A hostel, a friends party or a cruise ship are much easier places to find quick bedding than say… a club or a bar.

Stage 6 – Sealing the deal.

You will need to prepare her for a your next escalation (the most important one), so pace your sexual escalation with her. Don’t rush it… pace her sexually but comfortably. Sexual arousal in women is like a candle; if you light it with a blow torch then it will burn hot but fizzle out quickly, you want to keep her in a warm state of sexual arousal so you don’t risk the passion dying out.

Continue to ‘gradually’ make things hotter until it reaches a point where she is physically attempting to warm up your instruments for sex. More often than not, this consists of her rubbing your cock or inner thigh with her hand, or squeezing your ass or grinding into you seductively on the dance-floor.

Take note: some girls are very shy and wont do this in public, so if you don’t get a ravenous signal from her don’t let that stop you from propostitioning her.

When you get the feeling that she is sufficiently horny you will need to make up an excuse for her to come to your house.

Don’t say something along the lines of ‘Do you want to come back to my place for sex?’ because if she says yes then she will feel like a slut and this is not a good thing for most girls.

Rather than clearly stating your intention, try suggesting an innocent yet obvious reason for her to go back to your place.

For instance,

‘You know I have this song I’d love for you to hear at my house’


‘Would you like to come back to my place (or your place) and watch a movie?’


‘Would you like to come back to my place (or your place) for a drink?’. Any old excuse is fair game as long as it appears innocent.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t even own a CD player or have a DVD in the house, as soon as she is back at your house it’s on like Donkey Kong. You both know you’re going back to your place for sex but this way she can feel like it was not her inention and therefore justify it to herself the next day as something that ‘just happened’.

If a girl seems indecisive about going home with you then the best thing to do is to take the initiative and not wait for an affirmative answer. Take her by her hand and lead her to a taxi or your car before she can fully rationalise what is happening and second guess her emotions.

Most of the time if a girl is indecisive and you take leadership then she will go along with it,  taking the path of least resistance.

Stage 7 – The bedroom.

Once back at your place, kiss her immediately as soon as you go inside then back off a bit, dim the lights and put on some music or some background noise (for pointers on how to prepare your house for sex see Pimp your pad and attract more women.”) this will relax her. If you live with other people then assure her that you won’t be bothered or have to worry about noise (if true).

If you go back to her place then remember that she woulnd’t have invited you alone back to her house if she wasn’t open to the possibility of sex with you. Chances are you are going to to get lucky.

The important thing to remember when you have just brought a beautiful woman back to your place for the first time is that she’s going to be a lot more judgemental and suspicious than she would usually be because she has put herself in a potentially dangerous situation by going home with a stranger. At this point she doesn’t know if you’re a serial killer or a pervert, so little things become big things.

Don’t make the mistake of counting your chickens before they hatch. Don’t start acting like a jerk or pulling out any weird fantasies before you even have her naked on your bed; play it cool and pace yourself. If you’re too eager and forceful straight off the mark then some girls will shut up shop and leave you hot and horny.

If you have her on your bed and she is saying ‘no’ and ‘stop’ then do what she says and cut her off from physical contact for a minute then take off from where you left off. If you let her feel like she is in control of the situation and safe then she is a lot less likely to resist you and more likely to want you if she thinks you’re not desperate to get your d*ck wet.

As long as you follow the steps highlighted in this guide then you should be able to pick up from any bar in any country that serves alcohol at bars (and some that don’t).

It’s a simple process and will work with any warm blooded beautiful women provided you have the right stuff, so get out there and start seducing today!

For information on physical escalation please see ‘The five crucial steps of sensual escalation.’

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