A Private Conversation Turned Public with Eddie Fews

So I was having a private conversation with an inspiring fellow who had a lot of questions on dating, seduction, and approaching women. He asked me one particular question and its a question many men on these forums ask but rarely get a concrete answer to. I’ve decided to share it with you guys today because I feel it could help many of you seeking to improve your overall inner game.

He wrote me: More generally I want to be approaching more women and saying some of the cool funny things I think of saying in my head but don’t because I’m worried about the social consequences or about delivering it wrong and ending up looking like an idiot. How does one become more fearless and just take these chances?

My Response: Well this is an awesome question – and it is also a question that very few people will give you a proper answer to. Most people will tell you, that ” you just have to push yourself to do it”; which is true but it is always easier said than done.

The truth of the matter is you just have to invest energy into having that outcome come to life. Put your energy in things with faith and you’ll slowly but surely see yourself becoming more comfortable. Heres what I mean.. I don’t know what your religious background is but if you’re a christian pray on it, if you’re a Buddhist meditate on it, if you’re a new age guy asked the universe to help you become more comfortable speaking your thoughts with confidence. The more energy you invest into making this come true outside of the situations when you need it, the easier it’ll be once you’re in those situation.

Anything you ask for will be giving to you… Maybe not in the time frame that you expect but it will always be giving to you.

I used to be really lazy and unmotivated to workout, hit the streets and talk to women etc. So I began praying for more motivation and ambition. I would pray twice a day for 30 days and I saw no results so I just stopped. 2 months after stopping I began feeling really motivated. I got in shape, started approaching women daily, making more money and I didn’t realize until 6 months later that I had gotten what I prayed for. It just hit me… I thought I had just got motivated all alone.. So i’ve been asking for what I want ever since.

My advice: Just as coach would tell and athlete the more effort you put into the game outside of the court, the better you’ll play once its game time.

His Response:  Eddie, what have you done? You’ve got me, who has been a committed atheist for years, tripping balls on spirituality!

I will certainly want to quote your words in a thread at some point, but for now I think I just need to see where I’m going with this

What I will tell you is that as soon as I started praying, all my true desires started to come out and I realised how much of my motivations for this pickup thing were superficial and that I was failing to engage with women because the things that were on my mind weren’t real and didn’t matter. I’m realising that there is a deeper and more honest me and that I need to be at one with that guy if I’m going to experience real fulfillment or intimacy

So yeah, I think you might have made a bit of an impact 🙂

I’m curious on hearing the readers thoughts in the comment section below.

Eddie Fews


EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com for inquirences, dating or lifestyle consultation

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  • Etherit

    I’m not sure if its a coincidence or not but prayer has made some major impacts on my life. I challenge anyone who doubts the concept of faith and belief to give it a try. 7 Days of prayer. See what happens.

  • nate

    Great article, but I’m not sold on prayer or religion. Decades ago Hitler rounded up my relatives into camps and 6 million of them died praying for help. Not trying to start a debate, just pointing out an argument against prayer working.

    Personally, I think it’s all about motivation, from within.

  • Eddie Fews

    Fair point, but giving it a try won’t hurt will it? 🙂

    Pray for more confidence for 7 days and see if you experience any changes. It’ll take one minute a day out of your life.

  • jokke

    This one I just had to comment, the thing is, the energy you send you in the world forms you in some way. imagen this, you go in to a room very happy and people start to take notice of your happy energy and they will also be happy. thats not a feeling or something else thats the energy you send out. when you focus that energy to yourself things start to happen. im not a religious guy at all, but im aware of that we all exist due to very small particals that is energy. mass concist of energy so basicly everything in the universe is energy and you cant deny that.
    so if praying, wishes and everything else work? ofcourse does, but dont pray to someone else thinking they will fix it. thats the diffrence. focus the energy on yourself just like Eddie wrote.

  • Shotgun

    As the person Eddie was corresponding with, I can assure you that my feeling about religion are not positive either. Neither do I believe that there is necessarily some “caretaking force” out there that listens to people in desparate situations. In fact, that’s one of the most offensive things about religion, especially in the Western world, the presumption that God would get you the job you want or help you to sculpt your way of life while people are dying throughout the world and he does nothing. Organised religion and its promises suck for this reason.

    The point I was making to Eddie is simply this: when you open yourself to a bigger force, whether that force exists or not, it has mental/emotional/psychological/physiological effects on you which go beyond what you happen to believe. I experienced these things when I was religious. I am just
    as capable of experiencing them now that I’m not.

    If you can allow yourself to believe that your creator is listening to you and cares what you are experiencing (even if you have to role-play his responses in your head as I did), then you can share your deeper thoughts and feelings in a way that you wouldn’t to another human who might just go and take the piss out of you to others. The fact that God might not exist is in this context perhaps his greatest strength!

    So I’m not recommending anyone goes to church. They will want more from you than openness. They’ll want money and devotion and to hold you accountable for things that are none of their business. But I am coming to feel that being a religious soul behind closed doors where no one else can interfere is a very positive thing for your life.